Saturday, March 13, 2010

Life' s still good...




Previous post was a depressing one. But it was one of those days where everything was going wrong. But things are rosy and cheery once again. Thanks to all u guys who wrote in. It meant a lot to me.



I have an ever-expanding list of 'things to do', things to learn and 'things to change about myself'. I'm glad that finally I'm able to tackle them one by one, slowly yet steadily.



1. I'm finally out of a depression that I have been fighting for months. Though I sulk once in a while (that is allowed), I'm generally happy. Like they say, "if it doesn't kill u, it makes u stronger". And it definitely has made me stronger. I learnt very important lessons and now I feel I needed that bad phase. I'm glad I emerged out of it! Congratulations to me.



2. I have been thinking of a life style change for a long while. I know that I'm capable of so much more ( let modesty go to the dogs), but I'm not doing smthg right. To begin with, my time management sucks! But now I'm glad that I have brought about a life style change - daily walks, eating healthy, drinking loads of water, sleeping on time, reading more, thinking positively, controlling my urge to control everything, controlling my temper and praying. And it does feel very very good.



3. My relationship with my mom is improving. My mom has always been a great woman, a devoted wife and a doting mother. But like every daughter and mom, we had our occassional differences. And things became unbearable during those tumultous teenage years. That is the time when a girl needs her mom most. And I felt she was never around. I still hold it against her.
The fact that she holds a highly responsible job, is fiercely ambitious, has a lotta younger siblings emotionally and otherwise dependent on her and has a wide network of friends, added to the problem. I felt that she had time for everyone else and everything else in the world, but me. I was always mad @ her that she never tried to fix things. I know that she loves me a lot, but our relationship was never the way I wanted it to be. So finally I thought that instead of expecting her to take an initiative, I should take things into my hands. I felt that I should appreciate her more and criticise her less. And finally things have become so much better.




4 I have turned into a decent cook. I still need to check recipes to cook an okay-ish dish. Thanks to online recipes, mom and helpful aunts, I'm managing quite well. I have a long way to go. But I was someone who entered the kitchen to just make lime juice ( not even tea unless on those rare ocassions) or STIR ( Yeah, I love stirring. I feel very important when I do that. Lol!) There were times when I have tried making a 'thoran' or a 'mezhukkupuratti' or 'chappathis', but the results were disastrous. And about chopping veggies? Don't even get there. Even the apples and pears that I chop don't come out neat and uniform. But I din't lose hope. I was told that I may have 'kaipunyam" cuz my great grandmom, grandmom and mom are great cooks and I would have inherited their skills. And guess wot, my great grandmom is the eldest daughter of her parents, my grandmom is the eldest daughter of my great grandmom, my mom is the eldest daughter of my grandmom and I'm the eldest daughter of my mom. I don't know what I'm trying to say here. But i do find this a bit amusing. Guess wot, I have always been told that girls should learn to cook cuz eventually they are going to someone else's house to cook for some one else. The feminist in me totally detested this. The whole idea of me learning to cook so that a total stranger and his family can be fed was just beyond me. I just couldn't picture myself slaving in the kitchen while totally unrelated people feast .I did everything to make sure that I don't learn cooking. I thought cooking was a very uncool thing to do. I know I know, I was naive to think such thoughts. But if only my grandmom had told me that cooking is a life saving skill and will only make me more independent, I would have been truly fascinated. So from that girl who yelled at anyone who mocked at me for not knowing cooking, I have come a long way.




5. I have started my piano classes and I'm completely enjoying it. Though I can't sing, I have always been very musically-inclined (who is not?). I consider myself a rhythmic person ( whatever that means, I just like the idea) and I can be completely moved by a certain song and listen to it for hours on end and not get bored. So I thought I should be able to create music for my own amusement. And from there began my desire to learn musical instruments. So someday I want to be able to play the Piano, Guitar, Violin and Jazz..someday.. and I guess Piano is a great start. I'm glad that finally I found the time, (a nearby) place and the inclination to go for it. Well... I have just attended 3 classes and right now I'm just training my fingers. It began with the finger exercises . I need to make my fingers more nimble. Right now, when I press my pinky finger, the ring finger doesn't stay still. But somehow I'm already lovinggg it.



6. I'm finally getting a chance to learn French. I have been wanting to learn French for the past 7 years but things never worked out. I have made numerous calls to Alliance Francaise , always telling them that I will join the next time. I even joined it once but could attend only few classes because of my hectic work schedule. But this time things look brighter and I'm more determined. And the best part is that I'm getting a 50% reduction on the course. The course which originally costs Rs 5000/- is now available at Rs 2500/-. What a beautiful deal!!! I also want to learn German, Italian, Spanish, Korean, Japanese and Bengali someday...


Thats it for now... I thought I owe myself a good post...



3 comments:

ani said...

cheers! :)

An Open Book said...

good going neets.im so proud of u..i think i need inspiration like u..and i m jus not there yet..i still sit and brood at home whn im upset..which seems 2 be happening quite often these days..
piano and french huh..nice nice..i was sent was piano lesson whn i was in college and i failed miserably..i was so not interested..and french..did it for 2 yrs in college and again sucked at it...
but im so glad ur working things out..kudos 2 u...

lex said...

first of all its nice to hear that you came out of your depression and I am happy that you started to pray also. it is nice... praying helps us to keep our temper in control. your mom-she's such a sweetheart dee...and hoe can we blame her for fixing the things... she worked for you people illee to give you luxuries... nice mom. regarding your cooking story- i liked it, why shud we learn things only bcoz we have to go to others house some day.... mad... actually I was just remembering once we both had an argument regarding the freedom of women and you stated like you wish if you were a boy... later tess to joined.... anyways, when i read tht I just thought of the conver we had.... nice post dee:)