A friend for each season and each reason

Friendship Day is here again. And for the last friendship day, I wrote a post on one of my fav sitcoms F.R.I.E.N.D.S. Since then I have been meaning to write a propah post on friends. And its been a year since that.. Sigh…

So well.. I have seen friendships, made friendships, lost friendships, grown out of friendships, broken friendships..smthg or the other sure kept happening. Honestly, it was very late in life that I really felt the need to have friends. Maybe cuz I have a wonderful home and I was well taken care of. Maybe every whim of mine was satisfied without friends. Maybe I was a very secure person , loner probably (still I’m) and was happy with myself. Maybe I was too good for the others (What nerve to say that!) and din’t want to associate myself with them. Maybe they were too good for me and I din’t fit in. May be I din’t trust anyone enough. Maybe I was after all too insecure to let my guard down. Don’t get me wrong guys. I was always fond of people. I loved watching them, talking to them, hanging out with them, admired them, helped them and even loved them. But friendships? I’m not too sure. The concept was never in my mind. Somehow being liked was never one of my priorities in life. I was more keen on winning arguments than winning friends. And winning arguments mostly meant that losing a friend or making an enemy.

Alrite, so I really don’t know what I want to say. Am kinda digressing from the topic. But then who is a friend? Dictionaries probably give you a set of definitions. We have literary geniuses churning up their own versions. But who is really a friend? We all have our personal definitions. If you are being a friend to someone, does that make that person ur friend by default? If you consider someone as ur friend, does that mean that person is really ur friend? Is your friend the person you love the most (outside ur family ofcorz)? Or is your friend the person who loves you the most? Or do two friends always feel equal love for each other?

I have had different kinds of friends and seen different kinds of friendships. They connect and relate to each other on a different level. And sometimes you tend to take on the personality of your friend while you hang out with them. Is communication always necessary in friendships? Or can silence communicate a lot more than words at times? Sometimes you can talk a lot to a person, and yet not feel attached at all. Sometimes you can forge strong bonds even through silence. In some friendships, it is important to know all the details. In some others, you just know that whatever the detail, your friend will stand by you. Sometimes shared interests or shared sense of humour can bring people together. Laughter definitely decreases the distance between two people. But is that good enough? Or is it even necessary? You may actively talk about your pet subjects to someone cuz u know that your listener shares the interest and understands it. A connection is definitely made there. But is that connection good enough to make you care for that person? Does an intellectual connection always lead to an emotional connection.? You may share the same kind of sense of humour with someone and laugh out a lot in their company. But does that really suggest a strong friendship? Does having fun in each others company mean that they are great friends? Is that even an indicator of whether that person will stand by you during a rough patch. You may have activity partners. If you are the partying kind, you go out together for drinks. Are they friends? If you love golf, or shopping or movies, you always find someone with similar interests. Does that mean you are friends?

I feel that how much ever we don’t want to believe it, friendships are not permanent. In some rare cases, they are. But in most cases they are not. So we sure have a friend for every reason. School friends, college friends, friends from work, friends from flat – either we or they move away. Sometimes we keep in touch, sometimes we don’t. Sometimes we want to keep in touch, but cant. Sometimes we don’t want to keep in touch. We don’t think it is very necessary. We grow out of it. Parting with a friend can be painful. But growing out of a friendship can be painless, slow and smooth. We just don’t feel their need in our lives. We may or may not keep in touch. But more often than not, the intensity of our friendship reduces a lot over time. Atleast in most cases.

So we definitely have friends for every season. Do we have friends for every reason? Looks like we do. It mite be difficult to find all the qualities that we require in a friend in one individual. So when we want to be all goofy and dumb, we have a certain set of friends. You enjoy their company, have a good time, match wits , laugh at each other’s expense and laugh at each other’s jokes. Great fun. You will be instantly pepped up in their company. Sometimes you are so comfortable in someone’s company and can talk ceaselessly, but still not feel a thing. And there are friends you run to in times of trouble. You may not be expecting any help, but you just need a listener to vent out your frustrations. Somebody to talk to about whats bothering you, somebody who can comfort you and make you feel better. And most important, somebody you can trust with very personal information. This person may not always think like you, or has an answer to your worries, but may just let you know that he is there for you. A few consoling words, a ruffle on your hair or hug can do the trick for you. But when a more philosophical question stirs up your mind, you seek out an intellectual partner who talk the same language. There are friends who protect you, friends whom you protect, friends who make you laugh, friends who laugh at your jokes, friends who cry to you, friends you cry to , friends who cry for you, friends who talk to you when you just listen, friends you talk to while they just listen, friends in whose company you both speak with each not paying enough attention to what other is saying (yet have a good time),friends you share your deepest fears with, friends you talk about the dumbest thing you have done, friends in whose company you may not talk much, yet understand how you feel for each other.

So what do you think is a friendship? What kinda friends do you have and for what reasons?

Oh! My unborn Child!

Oh  my unborn child

What right do I have to let you be born,

Into a world of miseries,

Into a life of uncertainities???

 

You never know what is in store for u

Neither ‘m I too sure of ur future.

I hope to be with you in every step u take

But u n me know that I can’t be with you for long.

 

You don’t even have a choice,

To be born or not be born is not ur call,

I take that very important decision for you

Whether you love it or not,

Live you have to with it.

 

I can’t guarantee anything

Neither can I make promises,

You may have imperfections u detest

You may hate urself for the way your are

You can’t  chose your family

Neither can u chose the way u are

These are decisions I take.

 

So my unborn child

Do I really have the  right

to throw u into a life designed by me.

All you have to do is just live

Cuz the call has been mine!!!! 

 

I often wonder why people have kids? Before u raise your eyebrows, I would like to clarify that I absolutely adore kids. Though, I can be a lil biased and fall for the cute, chirpy kids, the truth is that I find almost all kids cute. I love their innocence and playfulness. I love baby-talking with them. And being the eldest grand child of the big family, I took it upon myself to look after all the kids. I was their unofficial caretaker. And I’m protective about strangers’ kids by default.  I keep a vigilant eye on kids who run around in restaurants or malls and keep a protective hand over their head when they are going to bang it onto something sharp. That said, I’m not excited at the prospect of having my own kids. Always beats me. What is it that inspire people to have kids. I would really like to know.

1. You believe in the cycle of life. Birth,  childhood, growing up, marriage, having kids  and death – u believe in this cycle and follow it unquestioningly. Nothing more, nothing less.
2. U have an intense longing to father or mother a child. You love to cradle a baby and enjoy the process of bringing him/her up or watch him/her grow.
3. Pressure from the family or society.
4. Don’t really know. Just going with the flow.
5. You are bored with ur current life/partner even though u love them. U think u need something more to make it more meaningful.
6. Any other reason.
7. Hope that the kids will take care of you when you are old.

 

I may sound crazy, and most people I talked to regarding this dismissed myself as being crazy. But the truth is that they don’tw ant to discuss or worse still, they don’t sometimes know. I would love it if you share your views on this. 

 

Its MEeeeee All The Way.....

As  fate would have it, I’m destined to write  this post about  few (many) random things about  myself. Destiny is a heavy word. But honestly, destiny has very little role here. I just wanted to make it all very dramatic. The shameless drama queen that I’m . Gee! So I saw this tag on a fellow blogger’s blog and took it up. The narcissist in me loves these kind of  tags. So here I go, 25 random things about myself. But u can add more, if u please. The cops permit that! Wink wink!

 

1. I’m a dreamer. This pretty much defines me. I build up imaginary conversations in my head ALL the time. Most of the time I’m caught up in a fantasy world, lost in thoughts. I’m constantly analyzing, evaluating,  weighing the pros n cons, u get the drift right? Yes, u do! 

2. I  thrive in good company. But essentially, I’m a loner. I love my ‘alone’ time, doing my own thing. I value my space .And invading my privacy won’t be well appreciated. 

3. I’m extremely choosy about everything in life. 

4. I’m very particular about hugs and physical expressions of affections – very generous with people I love, but cringe when I don’t love them. 

5. I intimidate most people. But it is more like a defense mechanism. Or sometimes I’m just plain insecure. 

6. I’m lazy to the bones. Most of the decisions I take revolve around this single truth. I’m the kind of person who believes that working hard is a sheer waste of time u can otherwise enjoy wasting. 

7. I  absolutely love WORDS. 

8. I’m immediately attracted to the flashy, flamboyant people. But make lasting relationships with more genuine and simple people. 

9. I truly appreciate beauty in all its forms and can rave about it endlessly. 

10. I’m totally kicked when people say that I have beautiful eyes. I rank it above all the other complements.  I think this concept of having beautiful eyes is exotic. Whether or not I have beautiful eyes is a different story altogether 

11.  I don’t necessarily have to be close to anyone to like them. I love and hate people, unmindful of what they feel about me. And yet, I manage to stay  a little emotionally detached. 

12. Most of my favourite activities involve talking – arguments, discussions, gossips(the harmless kind), cribbing sessions etc. 

13. I’m as messy and clumsy as they come. Making bed, cleaning the cupboard and folding clothes are not my kind of things. I can live in mess, but can’t work when mess is around. And I usually drop a lot of things. Can’t even carry a dupatta well, leave alone a sari.

14. My attention span is less than 2 seconds 

15. I’m a good listener, despite my low attention span. I listen intently when people talk about things that matter to them. 

16. I have a TERRIBLE  sense of direction. Need a map to even loaf around in the neighbourhood. What the hell, I can’t even read maps. 

17. I love dressing up, though not exactly decking up. And I love fashion, even though I don’t follow it religiously. Like more the classy –trendy look. 

18. I’m a foodie and unfortunately prefer the rich, unhealthy kind. 

19. I get bored easily – with people, places, routine etc. But then, I’m also a creature of habit and is usually stuck in my comfort zone 

20. If  I have to hold a conversation, sense of humour is a MUST 

21. I’m an agnostic. I pray, but don’t really believe in God.  

22. You will get almost anything if you ask politely. Order me, and sorry u have missed your chance. 

23. I really don’t know how to be happy. Most of the time I seek out melancholy. My birthday, New years and all festivals depress me. 

 

24. I ALWAYS fight for what I believe in.

 

25. I try hard to keep my word.

And I would like to tag

Gee

Nish pish

Jane

Sne

Swar

Arun.

 

 

Life's Good!

I took a really long break from work. I had tonnes if things to do, but I squeezed in a family vacation. Went to Bangalore with my parents to attend my sister’s convocation at IIM. The students were all looking very smart and brimming with confidence ( as said by the the chief Guest Mukesh Ambani) in their black gowns. I was reminded of my own college convocation where we all donned golden yellow robes. The predicaments of studying in Chennai. Sigh!!! Anyhoo, as u can imagine, convocation was a boring and arduously long affair. Some of the speeches were painfully long. But I dint listen anyway. I just got up to watch my sis and few of her close friends receive their certificates. Missed most part of the speeches delivered by some Justice and then Mukesh Ambani. I thought Mukesh Ambani was wayyyy too simple than I imagined. Every one was impressed with his speech. I found nothing particularly impressive about his speech, atleast the parts that I managed to listen. And he did blame the current recession on ‘Greed without Fear’. I wondered whether he was the right person to talk about it. So though I was bored with the whole convo thing, I enjoyed being away from home, meeting some fresh faces and meeting some people I have met before and have caught up online later. And I was looking forward to the grand dinner at IIM. It ought to be grand, cuz it was IIM and it was their convo and all. But the dinner was a disappointment, except the yummy ice-cream and gulabjamun combo. So that din’t stop me from eating.

From Bangalore, we headed to Coorg. And I was a bit sad for my sis and myself. For my sis, cuz she was leaving a place she sooo loved and friends she is sooo close to. And for myself, I really don’t know. Just felt sad. This whole bye bye blues catches me totally unawares. So we headed to Coorg and the journey till Mysore was not vey smooth. We got into a non AC Sumo and was baked. That’s all we got, thanks to bad planning! From Mysore got into an AC Scorpio which was suchaaaa relief. But I was not too happy with the insufficient leg space, but we managed it alrite. Spend a night at Coorg and then headed to Wayanad. The holiday as such was amaaazing, though there was no posh stay and fine dining (two prerequisites for a good holiday in my opinion). But it was great to be with family. At home, each of us are caught up in our own world and doing our individual thing. So I think a change in scene is wonderful to bond. The light-hearted conversation, laughter, long drives, winding roads, misty mornings, fresh air ( it really does wonders), rolling down the windows and letting the wind blow on ur face, dreamily sitting in the car without a worry in the world, wild life sanctuaries, the elephant ride (finally managed to do it), the anticipation and fear of spotting wild animals while moving through the national park,, watching rabbits nibble on the leaves, climbing upto the tree house, clicking photographs, watching the Buddhist monks pray at the Tibetan monastery, home made chocolates, salted mango with chilly powder sprinkled all over, vinegar-ed pineapple, honey-ed amla – BLISS!

Now m back home, but my break is still on. I’m just getting wasted, but thoroughly enjoying it. Sleeping as much as I want ( but trying not to overdo it, cuz it is a habit hard to snap out of), reading, catching up on blogs, writing my own blog , planning to go out for shopping ( too lazy to get out) , planning to go out for movies (again too lazy to get out) and generally lazing around. And most important, not crying anymore. Looks like I have finally got the reigns of life. I’m glad, life is still good!!!!

Quick run up

 

I’m back and I hope to stay. Blogging is a great let out for me. It is amazing to connect with people, being heard, reading others’ responses to what you had to say and reading what  other people have to say. I did miss blogging. And though, I was not very active in the blogging scene, I did regularly read up most of your new posts. Sometimes on the same day, sometimes a little late. But read I did. Only thing  is that I din’t stop to comment most of the time. Anyhow, since I’m back again, I vow myself to be more true to myself. Most often, I end up writing things that I thought people would want to hear or just to create a certain impression about myself. Well, these impressions are not completely disconnected  from my personality, they are indeed a leaf out of my blog. But this time onwards, I will try and be moré open. I will try and be less of a mystery. Actually, a lot of people think I’m quite mysterious. And I guess they are justified in thinking so.

 

So, I have been busy on the professional front. Not tat I was over working. But I do have a job and that doesn’t leave me with much time to do anything else, say for example blogging. I know, I know,  a lot of people do it, but I just din’t take the time. Maybe cuz I do a writing job and too much of writing can drive me nuts. And on the personal front, I was going through a lean phase, and that left me with a  frame of mind  which din’t really let me write. I was completely distressed. I just headed from work to home and shut myself up in my room and cried. Never called anyone , hardly talked to friends, din’t bother  much about what I wore or how I looked, hardly went out or watched movies. I just sat in my room and sulked, cried, analyzed, over analyzed and cried again when I couldn’t find a solution. I was totally broken. And then I decided that I had enough of ruining my life. I realized no one can help me, but myself. So I decided to take a break and went on a family vacation. And honestly, it did wonders to me. I’m back, feeling all refreshed and I hope I can stay this positive and happy all the time.

 

PS : Sorry that I din;t take up the tags and dint even thank for the awards bestowed on me. Will be more prompt henceforth. But time just flew and I din’t even know. 

Tagged!

Tagged by Chandni loong time back. I was not very regular with my blogs., hence the delay. Anyways, here it is...

I am: What I choose to be at any given point in time. A living bundle of contradictions
I think: A LOT!!! Unarguably the cause for all worries!
I know: Very little of what I really wanna know.
I want: Still figuring that out.
I have: Terrible mood swings.
I wish: I was someone else/ man/ born somewhere else.. it goes on…
I hate: control freaks/chauvinists
I miss: the younger, carefree days.
I fear: a lotta things – from real to unreal.
I feel: very strongly about certain things.
I hear: hardly anything that is being said. Blame it on my short attention span. I hear the first two words and off I go to the la la land.
I smell: nothing at the moment
I crave: any nice dessert
I search: for answers to life’s questions. Nobody seems to have them.
I wonder: at the futility of social institutions and societal norms.
I regret: the missed opportunities, lost time, hurting few people, not valuing certain people
I love: great conversation and good company!
I ache: for reasons not always known to me.
I am not: able to live up to my own expectations.
I sing: when no one is around.
I cry: very often. But when no one is looking.
I don't always: love myself.
I fight: for the sheer pleasure of it/ when I'm wronged/when I'm right
I write: when the mood strikes
I win: whenever I try. But the point is I hardly ever try.
I lose: my patience easily.
I never: like to betray someone.
I always: make sure I keep my word.
I confuse: myself. And sometimes ppl around me too.
I listen: when people talk about things that matter to them, despite the short attention span.
I can usually be found: dreaming away to glory
I need: my space, conversation and fodder for my thoughts.
I am happy about: everything I have. Yet I need more.
I imagine: a tussle – free life.

I would like to tag:
maverick
viki
vinesh
blindwreck
sansmerci
gurlwoman
mac
lone woolf

Thats me!

What philosophy do you follow? (v1.03) created with QuizFarm.com

You scored as Existentialism Your life is guided by the concept of Existentialism: You choose the meaning and purpose of your life. “Man is condemned to be free; because once thrown into the world, he is responsible for everything he does.” “It is up to you to give [life] a meaning.” --Jean-Paul Sartre “It is man's natural sickness to believe that he possesses the Truth.” --Blaise Pascal More info at Arocoun's Wikipedia User Page... Hedonism 90% Kantianism 90% Existentialism 90% Justice (Fairness) 85% Strong Egoism 70% Nihilism 65% Utilitarianism 55% Apathy 10% Divine Command 0%

Devil’s Advocate - I

Big Boys Don’t Cry

After I typed it down, I realised it is soooo much like another blog i read.. views here are my own. But ideas are indeed inspired  b y and are refelcted on another blog.

I’m almost always the devil’s advocate. And most of the time I find myself rooting for the underdog. So what if I cheer for the hot favourite occasionally, I never leave behind my underdog. But then, this is really not about underdogs in the true sense of the word. This is about MEN!!!. Men never get credit in feminist circles, do they??? So though this takes to strangle the feminist in me, I would still give some credit to men.

Women (mostly the unmarried, childless kind) often discuss how “painful” a woman’s life is. We have to bear that excruciating pain of giving birth to a child. We don’t even have a choice here, do we? Epidurals or not, child birth is complicated. I’m sure women who have been through it will nod in agreement and the women who have not been thru it (and don’t really fancy the idea) will nod in horror. So its like saying that if the living world has to continue, the female of the species has to go through this pain. Its such a mammoth responsibility on our tender shoulders. It is just assumed that women have some inherent quality to grind their teeth through pain!. Wait till you catch me getting a waxing done. I shriek when they pull the strip out and stop short of swearing at the saloon ladies. I can’t exactly swear cuz what if they decide to get even and pour some really hot wax on my bare legs?? :O. Or catch me when I’m chumming and in pain, when am cranky and curse myself for being a woman : O…. Oops.. Sorry! I was supposed to be taking men’s side. I lost track and started cribbing bout my sad life.

So here is what I wanted to say. True, we have to bear a lotta pain. But women can also scream. We can cry!!! We don’t have to put up a brave face. We can jump to the roof when we see a lizard. A man would make a total moron out of himself if he as much as let out a squeal.

If the pain is emotional, we can call up friends and shed buckets of tears and feel light. In return, we get a lotta comforting and care, sympathy and bonding. We have understanding girl pals who will lets us vent and listen to our ravings and rants, while we binge on mood-lifting chocolate cakes. We can go on a shopping spree or atleast do window shopping if we are broke. We can pamper ourselves with a head massage and pedicure (even these two are painful though) and feel really good. A man who cries in public becomes a wuss. So what do they do?? Cut themselves off from fellow men, turn aloof and divert their attention into something. Or worse (yeah worse), joke about it over beer.

Well… I say worse because I have seen a male friend go through a really rough patch. Now since he couldn’t deal with his own emotions, he would trivialize his miseries and joke about it. I knew him well enough to realize that it was all a farce and he was hurting inside. But most people thought he was being insensitive and hurt him more!!! There was a lot of pressure on him to abstain from breaking down in public. But , women don’t have to bottle it all up or indulge in self depreciating humour. We can shed tears till we feel better and gear up for the next pain. There is nothing as cathartic as a good cry! Sigh!

The song currently playing in my head : Buffalo Sodier - Bob Marley.

PS : The song has no relevance to the topic discussed here. Just happened to be the song I'm humming now.

Have you ever surprised yourself?

We often believe that we know ourselves best. We even pride on the fact that we are complete masters of our mind. And our actions. But there are times when you surprise yourself. -Crying at the most inappropriate place for crazy reasons even when you have fought back tears during worse adversaries, laughing at the crappiest of jokes despite being fully aware of its crappiness, had feelings for the kinda people you never thought you would fall for, suffered silently through gross injustice even when you are a fighter, made friends with the most unlikely people, had lengthy conversation with people you can never relate to, loved the corniest of songs that you are ashamed of admitting, found the gawkiest of people attractive, stood up for the ones who never meant anything to you.

Has any of this ever happened to you?

Trust doesn’t come easy to me. But then, I surprised myself and trusted someone soon. But the person turns around and backstabs me. So I decide to give her the silent treatment. Now that is something I’m so good at. But then I surprise myself AGAIN and talk to her!!! And I still haven’t forgiven myself for doing this!

So how have you surprised urself??

Coffee, Conversation and others….

Its back to the grind again! After a long break, m back to the corporate world. And that explains my absence from blogsville! And how much ever earning for yourself feels good, I really miss that blissful state of joblessness! Sigh…I can no longer stay up late into the night doing.. well…almost nothing. I cant sleep late into the mornings. I have a schedule to stick to and life is mechanical once again. I hate not being in control of my life anymore. If there is anything that I badly want, it is to follow my whims and fancies at every turn and never be told what is to be done. So being on my own, not having to follow rules made me a lazy bum. Now I’m battling to snap outta it. Now my eyes have a mind of their own. And to keep them from falling shut, I ‘m consuming excessive coffee! It indeed is a stimulant. And then while I sip on my coffee, I think of 25 years of work life that’s stretching ahead me!!! Life has just begun and I have to work for another 25 years NON STOP! Sigh….. And I realized another thing. Since I write the whole day at work, I’m no more motivated to blog. I never knew this would happen to me. Now that explains the crappiness of this post. Yeah, yeah! I blame it all on work stress! (Chuckle)

A typical mid -20 female conversation 

This is an online conversation I had with my friend P some time back. Thot I should put it down here.

P – guess wot! I'm turning 27 in two days!!!

Me – age is just a number girl

P – Yeah, U say that cuz ur only 24! Lets wait till u turn 27!

Me- well… not really… 24 or 27, u have earned that many years of ur life. So u gotta be proud of it.

P – Proud?!?!? ! U miss out on the babe factor.

Me – Oh! No! Ur the ultimate babe! 20 or 30!

P – Well…J thinks so atleast

Me – J is crazy

P – That he is...

Me - Lol..

P - But then he says according to his company’s marketing surveys youth wud mean upto 25!

Me – tell his company to go to hell. So by his own company’s standards he is old eh?

P – Yeah, he admits he is old...Damn! I feel so old. Suddenly I feel jealous of u!

Me- Well.. in three years I will be there too

P – and in three years I will be 30. THIRTY!!!

Me- hmmm…

P- I already started checking out anti-ageing creams

Me – Oh C’mon!!! What u talking bout??

P- Yeah, they say it’s a downhill from 25. Your ageing process begins at 25!

Me- Did J say this too to freak u out?

P – No di... I read it somewhere.

Me – Yeah!!! Ur rite… tat rings a bell somewhere! Tatz terrible!!!

P – Yeah! Tatz exactly what I was telling u!

Me -hmmm..Whoever said age is a number probably died young. That jack ass doesn’t know what growing old feels like! Whew!!!

P – LOL!

Kidding myself!

How long could I be kidding myself??? I get myself into believing that it is all alright. But deep inside I know it is not. I'm the creator of my own myseries, they say. Little do they know what it is to feel miserable. Else they wouldn put the onus on me. It is like telling me that 'm cutting my flesh into lil pieces. Why would I ever do that??

Then I look around. I see the unfortunate and the underprivileged. And then I ask myself what right do I have to cry?? I'm blessed in so many ways. And all I think about is what is out of my reach. I forget to value everything that I have. So then again I kid myself. I tell myself I have everything I need. Or I need only what I have. Even when I know its not true.

Sometimes I wish I could be shallow. Bcuz the deeper you are, the deeper it hurts. And I have a bloody soul. It wudn rest with a false solace!!!

Let me be me

The wound just wouldn't heal
and the stubborn pain refuses to leave
its pierced me deep, tugging at my flesh
but m holding it close, for a false solace.


My eyes are dry
my head is dizzy
and I 've put on a fake smile


I've no sunshine here
no cheer to spread
I sell no dreams of vibrant hues
Would u still want me to stay?


I'm tired of this facade
Can I tear away this mask?
for its hurting me


Can I shed a tear?
for I cant hold it back any longer


Can I not smile
for my lips are sucked dry


Can I be me?
For once, will u pls let me be me????

Not tagged, yet a tag!

Well… Nobody tagged me this time. I took it up shamelessly from Mac’s. Anyways he was generous and said anyone can. And I sooo loved this one. So here it goes :-


Ten things I wish I could say to people right now

1.You are the luckiest person. U r living my dreams.

2. I’m in awe of you.

3. I miss you a lot. More than I can ever express.

4. I’m always worried about you. Just as much you worry bout me. Losing you is my biggest fear.

5. I completely understand when you say you are busy. I just pretend otherwise.

6. I wonder why I can’t love you the way you want me to.

7. What the hell are u thinking?

8. You are a great entertainer. I think you are nice too. Though I never say it.

9. I wish I knew you better.

10. You made me feel special. Thanks.


Nine things about myself.
1. I’m impressed by chivalry. Yet it embarrasses me. And I wonder if it’s for real.
2. I cry very often (but never in public) sometimes I cry late into the night worrying bout losing people I love.

3. I keep my word. And go great lengths to ensure it.
4. I can adore someone as much as I despise them.
5. I’m an absolute absent minded freak.
6. I don’t trust anyone easily.
7. But you can trust me. Confide, and ur secret is safe with me.
8. Get into my bad books and you run the risk of being there. Forever.
9. It’s extremely difficult for me to say Goodbye. Sometimes I avoid meeting people cuz I cant face the good bye part.


Eight ways to win my heart.
1. Talk well, write well, dress well, look good. – Yeah superficial I know. But first impression??

2. Make me laugh. And laugh with me. Match my wits. And win me over.

3. Cry to me.

4. Have a deep conversation with me / Inspire me.

5. Be modest and honest. Tell me the truth. Even when it hurts. But learn the art of diplomacy.

6. Share my interests/traits. Even the not so great ones.

7. Be unconventional.

8. Tell me all the dumb things u have done. Makes me feel better. And I’l think you’re cute.


Seven things that cross my mind a lot –
1. My parents health.
2. My future.
3. Death/ life’s mysteries/ God/ religion
4. I wish I was a man!!
5. Pls own up when you are wrong. I appreciate it. And even though its difficult to forgive, I’l try.
6. Ask a lotta questions ONLY if I like u. Else u repel me.
7. Ask me politely. U will get almost anything. Order me around. Sorry, u lost ur chance!

Six things I wish I never did.
Hmmm… I don’t regret anything that I have done. Regret not doing certain things though.


Five turn off's

1. Control freaks
2. chauvinists/lechers
3. being curt
4. being selfish.
5. atrocious sense of dressing / make up

Four turn on's.

1. A sense of humour
2. Gentleness
3. beauty
4. intensity – whatever that means ;)

Three things I want to do before I die.

1. Spend more time with people I love.
2. Chase my dreams.
3. Be the first one to die. I cant watch my loved ones die. Neither can I live without them.

Two smileys that describe me
;)
:o

One confession.
At every point in time, I wish I was someone else, living elsewhere.

Fun or funny???

Someone told me the other day - "U r obviously fun girl! but not so much funny!"

I wonder what's really the difference. Any idea guys??

Missing???

Now this is seriously weird! And this is seriously ME!

I feel am terribly missing somebody! Or is it something?

Cant place wot. Yet !

I'm messed up in the head! My blog is giving out a lotta negative energy oflate.

Promise to write more happy things :)

The 'This... Or That' game

This game is draining me out, emotionally! Its breaking me to bits. Life is throwing different options, and all I need to do is weigh the pros and cons and pick the best one. But in typical Libran style, I’m dodging things due to my indecisiveness. I don’t want to miss out on a wonderful opportunity. Nor Do I want to end up making the wrong decision and regret for the rest of my life. This is a decisive phase, and m indecisive! Sigh!..