Friday, February 1, 2008

Women.....As we know them

When life got busier, I moved away from friendships and acquaintances forged at an earlier phase of life. I could afford to lose them and go on to bigger things, and today I can afford to look back at them with fondness. The last year has been one of rebonding-with-old-pals types. And what did I find?? Boys, I must admit, have remained the same all through these years. Only they have become a little serious since the last time we met. Priorities have changed but of course. They have moved on from bikes, babes and booze to make more money. Pray why?? For better bikes, babes and booze. Boys will always be boys!!! Women, on the other hand , have changed. Each meeting with old female acquaintances shed some light on how they grew and I was tempted to put then into little boxes.

The Single, Independent Women – Slogged their assess off to make a career for themselves. Fiercely independent, one admires their confidence just as one despises their arrogance. In typical corporate jargon, they talk about their six-figure income, high-profile meetings, busy schedules, deals clinched and battles won. Hiding behind that aggressive façade and tired eyes is a vulnerable soul lamenting over broken friendships, lost sleep and loneliness.

The Happily Married Women – Married early to rich men, sacrificing education, career and independence, but thought nothing of it. They throw subtle references to trips made to exotic foreign locations and their brand new diamond collections. They are ladies with class, so stating things explicitly will be thoroughly out of the question. Though comfortably tucked in their cocooned life, they regret not making a mark of their own. And since they don’t work to contribute monetarily to the house, they have more time, but less liberty.

The Single, Dependent Women – Screwed up on their studies, because they were busy having fun. Couldn’t make a rewarding career for themselves cuz they were dating men. Full of hope and despair, they still are dependent on the men in their lives (read fathers, boyfriends). They have enviable tales to narrate bout the exciting adventure called life. Suddenly they realize life needs more stability and security, but find that the men they were dating fall short of being the right guy.. Their education is either inadequate or inappropriate to take them to great heights. They realize it’s too late to start all over again, but too early to stop dreaming.

Each of the meetings I had were planned to renew friendships and catch up on old pals. And look what I got. Love has been totally lost. From their hearts as well as mine. What could have been a pleasnt walk down the memory lane, ended up being some kinda 'who has gotten ahead" contest. Every sentence uttered had an undertone of “hey, I’m having a better life”. And though I wasn’t prepared for this, I fell into it headlong, each and every time. And at the end of it all, I realized that the picture I had in mind of these women as lil girls were far more comforting than met the eye. I'm sad I ruined that beautiful picture!!!

PS: There is poll put up at the right corner. pls vote. Thanks in advance!

And tho 1 and 3 remain the same, the 2nd option is actually interesting, moderately well off n ugly!!! (unattractive was just a polite way of putting it. And this is with refernce to in case 2 ONLY) I realized I had placed it above the rest!


--xh-- said...

man, you have some keen observations here, and tehy hit the nails head. and yeah, being a boy, i agree to the hilt - i am now trying to make more money for better bikes,babes and booze :-D
what i have realised when meeting long lot friends is that, generally, guys dont change much. it takes just five minutes to get back to the old rhythm - the name callings, and all that stuff. but with girls, sometimes, it is difficult. somehow, i have felt strengly lost afetr meeting some of my long lost female frineds, but then, i have ahd fantastic bonding with some of them too. may be, they take life too seriously that they forget to enjoy it. of may be, they are more calculas and practical and we guys are stupid :-D LOL

anonme said...

Very keen observations.. :)
It just makes me think of one thing! No life is the best and no life is better than the others.. Everyone has their ups and downs, their prod moments and those they regret..
Nice read!

claytonia vices said...

Maybe that is why I simply hate meeting up with old school classmates. And whenever I did try catching up, their wanting to fit me into the same image they had of me then felt do avoidable. Being a guy I must admit most men do have a lot of trouble growing up!

Enigma said...

nice observation..part of it is true..i have met so many who hav changed and who hav remained the same...

Pointblank said...

@ xh,

ur rite bout the guys being dump n all! LOL! but on more serious thots, with guys its OKAY to lose touch n then touch base with them later. But women, me included, feel the need to connect constantly.

ur rite girl... the grass is always greener on the other side.

Men hate to grow up? So do women. err... more like hate to grow old!


the rule doesnt apply to all. Even these women were unchanged in many ways.

claytonia vices said...

LOL... nice to know you ALWAYS call back. I do have friends who do alyays call back and it's just so nice of them...

Rainlover said...

came through orkut though... like this blog like anything....keep thinking... good luck :)

ani said...

so totally agreeeeeee!!! (n i most of the time end up catchin up with guy frenz so tat all we can all talk about is bikes babes n booze!!) :D

Anonymous said...

welll...i completely understand what you mean...but I think women are far too complicated to be summed up in these categories...there are a 100 more subcategories to each u mentioned!

But when I have such meetings, I almost wish I hadn't and continued carrying on the last impression I had of them from childhood!

that's life I think!

sansmerci said...

i agree with chandni ... what u have given is a very braod generalisation of woman... i think every woman is dependant in someway n independant in another. i ve seen gals who were class toppers doin nothin sittin at home cookin for their husband n gals who were never really studious be independant n have a life for themselves... most of all i don c independance in terms of finance alone ..

but yea wat u say is true is pretty tuff meetin up with old buddies dont really comfy .. i tht m the only one cos i wonder hwo sometiems ppl get so excited bout it

Saritha Rajagopal said...

Hey Hey Hey Woman!

That's a neat blog u have there. And knw wuts weird? Me finding ur space as i was blog trotting! Wut a funny way to know that someone whom u knw so well actually has a blog of her own!! ;)

Gud post there babe. I think I fall into a fourth kind though.
The happy single, career woman! ;) Necessarily in that order! LOL. Im single and am happy!! And I have a job. That doesn't necessarily need to be read with the usual emphasis given to "a career woman" . Things end with just me having a job I love. No big dreams, no international holidays, no big jargons, busy schedules?? Naaaaah!! And deals, well ya the "im bunking, but say am sick? Deal?" Those kinds fur sure! and and and!! No way lamenting over anytin dats gone by!! ;)

So fit me in sumwhere there babe!! I do feel kinda lost now!!! LOL.

Pointblank said...


hey.. thanks for dropping by my space. Yup, I shall keep writing as long as u ppl keep reading!

Oh u love talking bout babes? Join the club!

@sans & chandni
Yuo guys, this is a very broad and INCOMPLETE generalization. There r many diff permuts n combos possible here.And I trust u guys here, cuz I dont belong to ANY of these categories!!But this was based on very small sample I analyzed.

I'm thrilled to know that someone I know landed upon my blog first before I chase them down. Cuz thats wot usually happens. But if m right, I left a comment on ur blog a long time back. Anyways, thanks for dropping by!:)

Then, this post was based on a very small sample. If only I knew ur single, happy, career woman status, I wud havde included a fourth kind. And then, u being this way has a lot to do with the kind of person ur! :) I remember how my Dad used to leave me under Ur n Shalini's (tatz her name rite?) care.
Then, m so sorry bout not stopping to talk to u when I bumped into u. Mom was hospitalized, I dint have a visitor's pass, so I was rushing back to get there in time. Hope all's well with u!

Prats said...

Wonderful observations...of course come more could be added, like Dependent, educated doormat married woman!! , Loving life by being married to another good friend woman....heheh, but of course these were your friends.
Guys don't change , their parameters always remain the same...
liked this...thoughtful.

Vik said...

Interestingly I was away for a while and that is when you race past with a nice blog material. Seriously, women are more tougher material. In general, I have seen so many sorts right from Russians to Polish to Indians to Americans to goes on and one thing that I see in all was that they are so different when in their teens or past that and what you see in their mid 20's to early 30's and two more categories between 30 and 40 and finally the post menstrual era. They are so so different and it is like the butterfly from a cocoon. The more you see, the longer you take time, the more different they become. What they have achieved in their life is more subjective and would dynamically change - happiness/pleasure/self esteem/comfort zone every thing, depending on the next woman they see who they either put on the same pedestal or dump them or live up for the crowd around. They fear of being left alone, the fear of losing the "babe" factor ..

Where as Men have all been the same all the time. Atleast the sane ones that I got as friends we have a simple, common motto. Never fall for another guy instead try a girl !!! LOL and that is why wherever you go the boys seem to be in their own world and so much fun. And strangers get over a drink talking real stuff and not taking anything personally. When I had to deal with women say commenting on a very general thing was so difficult,for they always took it so personally. I never found that easy at all. And which ever woman is part of our group is never considered a woman no more for they get to hear all our jokes.. Some are so so embarrassed and yet they take it along. I guess some women can also be funny but again depends coz they get driven by those categories above... So complex they are !

I don't know why I write this. Guess another blog note but hey I was just thinking about what you wrote that is all :-]

Vik said...

Oh I cannot answer that one-sided quiz, am straight and i go yuck yuck to think about marrying a man... ewwww... :)

Vik said...

Oh you dawg :-) ... Not that I know them so much, but with little acquaintances I know a wee bit but the PMS part was like something I sure wud have no clue abt ;)

Have a good night and catch ya soon.

Aaarti said...


Whoa, amazing observations you have made..

I guess all of us grow n blossom like a flower, each one taking on a diff form n personality..

came here thru Vik's blog.. cool blog :)

Pointblank said...

Whaaat??? U called me a dawg!!! I wud have preferred being called a bitch tho ;)

Zee said...

hmmmmm....but u know people remain the same deep down inside...they just change to the external world...spend some more time with them and u'll discover they're just the same

Vik said...

You are so nice to be called by the B word... ** blink blink ** :D

Pointblank said...


hey.. u cud be right bout it. that thot completely eluded me. thanks for the insight! But al I was saying is that ppl always want to prove that they r better off!

And thanks a lot for dropping by!

crazyBugga said...

positives in all 3 eh? but personally, i wud say type 3 is best. Not everyone is intelligent/dedicated enuf to go ahead and make a career or beautiful enuf to get a rich groom. Type 3 - life [:)]

Eve* aka JBo said...

Bloody apt that is. Have met all of the above -- will hold on about the boys, thats a bloody post in itself! (grin) -- and i'd a couple of more slots:
4. Been There, Done Them, Now Divorced/Single-Again: Girls who started out wanting to be all independent-shindipendent, then got cold feet because everyone else seemed happier... SO decide to jump on to happily-married-to-cash (or is it catch?)...THEN realise its not all credit cards and therefore try to get back to independent being-ness. BUT. It's never the same again.

5. So Busy Ball-Breaking That No One Wants To Play --> Though somewhat cousins to Slot 1... these are women who think "achieving" is all about chewing men and spitting them right out... Till they realise its called being bitter. Unfortunately, this kind never really rises in life, their interior bile always bogs them down.

Ah as for the boys...if they are into B3 -- booze, bikes/BMW, babes..its because they realise that with age the other B shrinks..the Balls i mean. Suddenly you have to say yes to a jackass who is your boss. Suddenly you need to grow up, have responsibilities...therefore, they LOVE saying, "Boys will be boys and even at 37, i am 18 at heart." My arse. :|

6. Nothing To Do So Have Babies --> self-explanatory slot...then they hate the babies, the man/men who gave them the babies, the mothers who bore them....

Sigh. Except for No 6, wont deny that i have been on boats 4 & 5... And wonder where i fit in now?
"Clueless Blogging-Type Thinks She's Smart?"

thanks for leaving your comments and sorry that i dont come here oftener. Will. Hugs.

Fighter Jet said...

What about..Happily married AND independent ones??..didnt u find a single such case?? :)

vagabond dreamer said...

you know what i guess even women dont change that much, and boys change a lot too, see women chage a lot but they always for some reason aspire to the same things they did when they were children, while men become fathers, responsible while they still wish to play with the same toys, they priortise them differently but any which way u look at it, its disturbing to see your freinds change like this right