Friday, July 2, 2010
I can't think of a title for this one....Met up some old friends after a while. I cannot really define what the feeling was like. But at the end of it all, when I returned home, I felt quite heavy in the heart.
Relationships are always complicated. And I'm both good at them, and bad too. But, it is definitely one of my pet subjects. I love my solitude (which is very different from loneliness though). And I have a world exclusive to my own, which I guard closely. I treasure that world, and I don't want to give that up for anything in the world. In my world, I'm secure, I'm strong and I'm totally at peace. But I love people too. I love being with them, I enjoy their company, I love connecting with them on some level. It can be a total fun and casual relationship with no emotions attached, it can be a relationship based on shared interests or a shared history and may never go beyond that, or it can be something on a much deeper and emotional level. But whatever the nature of my relationships with them, I value them. I truly cherish them. And with people, all my security, confidence and strength is gone. And I get become vulnerable, emotional and insecure.
I cannot say who is more important to me. Because, each has a special place of their own. And each is irreplaceable. I honestly believe in that. Each person is different, hence the dynamics of each relationship is different. When I see that super boring (to the world), intellectual kinda arty movie that kinda struck a chord with me, I need to discuss it with someone. We may end up dissecting the movie scene by scene, applaud or criticise a particular dialogue and get into the skin of the character and try to feel what they felt. Now when I check out a new boutique that I particularly liked, or bought something new, I need to discuss it with someone who agrees with my sense of style. And there are times something funny catches my attention or there is a witty remark playing in my head, and then I immediately want to share it with someone who gets my brand of humour. Sometimes I need the company of people who share my enthusiasm for life. But at other times, I need people who can totally get my blues . There are times when I get disconnected from everything and get philosphical. So I really don't know who is more important to me. As I said, each has a special place. And if I have bothered to spend time with you and make a connection with you, u mean something to me. And you will be in my thoughts.