Oh my unborn child
What right do I have to let you be born,
Into a world of miseries,
Into a life of uncertainities???
You never know what is in store for u
Neither ‘m I too sure of
I hope to be with you in every step u take
But u n me know that I can’t be with you for long.
You don’t even have a choice,
To be born or not be born is not
I take that very important decision for you
Whether you love it or not,
Live you have to with it.
I can’t guarantee anything
Neither can I make promises,
You may have imperfections u detest
You may hate urself for the way your are
You can’t chose your family
Neither can u chose the way u are
These are decisions I take.
So my unborn child
Do I really have the right
to throw u into a life designed by me.
All you have to do is just live
Cuz the call has been mine!!!!
I often wonder why people have kids? Before u raise your eyebrows, I would like to clarify that I absolutely adore kids. Though, I can be a lil biased and fall for the cute, chirpy kids, the truth is that I find almost all kids cute. I love their innocence and playfulness. I love baby-talking with them. And being the eldest grand child of the big family, I took it upon myself to look after all the kids. I was their unofficial caretaker. And I’m protective about strangers’ kids by default. I keep a vigilant eye on kids who run around in restaurants or malls and keep a protective hand over their head when they are going to bang it onto something sharp. That said, I’m not excited at the prospect of having my own kids. Always beats me. What is it that inspire people to have kids. I would really like to know.
- You believe in the cycle of life. Birth, childhood, growing up, marriage, having kids and death – u believe in this cycle and follow it unquestioningly. Nothing more, nothing less.
- U have an intense longing to father or mother a child. You love to cradle a baby and enjoy the process of bringing him/her up or watch him/her grow.
- Pressure from the family or society.
- Don’t really know. Just going with the flow.
- You are bored with
- Any other reason.
- Hope that the kids will take care of you when you are old.
I may sound crazy, and most people I talked to regarding this dismissed myself as being crazy. But the truth is that they don’tw ant to discuss or worse still, they don’t sometimes know. I would love it if you share your views on this.
24 comments:
exactly my thoughts :)
first timer here. just wanted to chk. are you married? err.. dont u get me wrong. i m married, n happily so, the query was only to chk which stage in life do u have these thoughts :p
~Tara
I have asked this question a hundred times to myself and to Ro. Both of us dont know or havent figured it out as yet.
What i think is, a couple, after about 2 or 3 years of marriage kinda gets bored and they do need something to pep up their lives..somethin exciting again..and they have kids. the wife is the one who cribs about romance and enthusiasm and she has a kid to tend to, shes happy, the husband is happy as long as shes happy and 'occupied.'
You know i started a post on the same front and left it half way thru. I had the exact same thoughts. Again, dont get me wrong, i like kids but like u said, the thought of having one of my own hasnt really thrilled me to teh core as of now..mayb it will one day..im hoping atleast.
if my in-laws read this they will be perplexed:)
..not Ro though cos he knows!!!
@ mindspace
nope, m not married. But tat din't stop me from having these thoughts.
@ open book
yeah, i know this is how u feel nishi.
iam actually with u on this, eventhough coming from a father of 2 , it may come across a bit hypocratical...
madhus and my theory was that there are so many orphans out there who really need parents, so why have our own?
then these 2 arrived by accident...really...totally unplanned...sex is so bad for health and ideals...but we plan to adopt a child...it will be easier now that we have children...
wanting children is almost like the reason behind creation...continuity....a expression of self absorbtion....a stab at immortality...survival...
do whtever u feel is rite...none of it will matter anyway...isnt that great?
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The Future Mantra
Wow! No idea what to say here so I will just meander I suppose.
I always knew I would want children...some day...just not right now. However, a "mistake" will always be welcome - I know that for sure, don't ask me how. There is not a soul I have met who regrets having their children. You can't even regret their timing cos wishing for the same child at any other time in your life would be wishing for a whole other child, a different individual. From the experience of others, I believe it is an adventure EVERYONE should undertake.
You may or may not have a nurturing instinct. But everyone, at some point, wishes to pass on a part of themselves into the future. Which then begs the question: Who am I? A post for another day.
The thrill only surfaces AFTER the birth - maybe even with the awareness of a life growing inside of you. The miracle, the wonder, the blah-di-blah. I am not trivializing it. It is a different reason for each one.
I DO believe in the circle of life.
I DO want to raise my own some day.
I AM under pressure: but of a biological kind. With age, I increase my chances of miscarriage and all sorts of other health issues for myself and for my baby. I feel it is these biological issues that are the root of family pressure for early marriage and early family.
Many marriages survive because of the children. I am not talking about the couples who fight all day, or refuse to talk to/acknowledge one another but also refuse to get a divorce out of shame. I am talking about those who have their differences, and have over come/accepted those differences with TIME - time which they had because their love for their children kept them together. In an arranged marriage system such as ours, it is usually the children that give the relationship some meaning. Elders put pressure on couples to have children so that the institution of (arranged) marriage may survive.
Every girl friend of mine (and that includes my mother and grandmothers) has the potential to be a great mother, so by default I am gonna assume I too can be one :O)
Oh no! I wrote enough for a post of my own :P
That much said: I think this was a great post. AS you can see, it got me thinking! ;O)
interesting post!
as for me, i loved babies and i wanted to feel the whole process of giving life...there's something magical about seeing a bit of you and a bit of your partner in that lil soul...
and i'm glad you are asking yourself these questions...because in the end its upto you...
oh man! i 'had' to read this now!!!
neet... having a child is entirely a personal choice than a collective thing! yeah, it also brings about a lot of arguments and discussions with your partner but ultimately when you know you're going to be responsible for a life that is going to live in this world for the next so many decades, trust me, it really gives you a feeling that simply noone else can replace. and yes, the circle of life has to move on and its amazing when you know you've passed on your life of so many years to another individual! if we were to think what our kid would be or should be n all that, then you and i shouldnt have been here at all! we are so much more blessed than those who yearn to see their own blood but arent lucky enough.. isnt it? i guess its just an instinct the moment you hold your new born and after that its a completely different phase and life. i guess i should be able to throw more light on that soon enough ;)
oh btw, thats a very nice poem but it kinda sent me on a depressing mood!
"I often wonder why people have kids?"
I have 2 & after 8 yrs I still once in a while am so mad with myself for having them.
I mean why wd normal, sane people want to saddle themselves with tiny, demanding, self-centred imps who eat away ur time, freedom, not to mention money.
My husband & I cd have gone a world tour, business class atleast twice by now.
;-(
I read your post a day back... and i still can't find a good argument against what you have written. It's been ringing in my head whole day. Nice nice post. Keep up the good work. :)
Thank you for the message you had left for me. I will have to choose the reason 2 for wanting a child of my own n' a little bit of reason no.5
I have always loved kids’ n’ I can keep them entertained for ages. People tell me that it’s always easier with other people’s kids n’ that when I have my own I might not be this patient or fun. But as of now i haven’t had a chance to find out how true it is…to tell you the truth my pregnancy this time was partly wanting to experience motherhood, a feeling of pressure and thinking of this as the next natural step in my marriage.
I even managed to stay a little aloof during this time…but when the doc gave me the news I literally felt shattered. Didn’t know what hit me….didn’t know the extent of love I was already feeling for my little one. It is only when I lost that I understood how much I wanted him. But if God grants us one more opportunity I know I won’t experience this lack of clarity, I want my unborn child even before he or she is conceived ;)... I’m looking forward to having one more person in my life I can love blindly…
I had a swell childhood, I’m one of those few who love the name my parents gave me and i happen to love my parents, my home n’ my siblings, I was always allowed so many pets, was encouraged to have freedom of thought (not to do…just think…till I was 21) and I long to provide a child with a similar life. I think it’s a crime to choose not to provide such a life to a child…;)…I’m sorry my comment is long enuf to be a blog…
by the way...the poem is beautiful...when i read it i got this feeling that i have read it before...but then i tried finding it on the web n' i couldn't!...does that mean u wrote this? WOW....its beautiful...by the way i read the 50 famous poems on this website http://famouspoetsandpoems.com/top_poems.html
@ miri...
yup .. i wrote it.. and yeah, one of my friends did comment tat the heading sounded familar... Mebe i have been influenced smwhere.. but yeah, the work is original..
neets, wonderful poem
see these r the kind of feelings that i have too and i really am not ready to bring a young life into this world as i do not know wat is in store for him/her...
Buts its inevitable and i know it has to happen and i too am under the pressure of the biological clock...
I guess its something we all have to adjust with...
I'm back visiting ur blog after a long time..n' am glad I got to read this post!!everytime I call my relatives the first question I'm asked is.."any good news":)..
while both c n' I are very happy the way we are,we both know that one day kids are going to come into the picture..its just a part of a cycle..n' seriously how boring it would be if its just the two of us for the rest of our lives,we would get on each others nerves!!:)
interesting and most common feeling that everyone has. May be because of the insecurity?!? could be. All part of life they say !
in the end, everything sums up to reason number 7. Ask the mother of a girl who says she doesnt want to get married. The first thing they say is, 'then how will u have children to look after u when u are old?'
Super post, this one sweeti. Good that you are thinking about it because it depends on you eventually. Though I agree with most of the points you've made. And I loved the poem. And keep writing :)
Hi. I am new here.
To be honest never thought about it precisely. But I sometimes do think that it's going to be the same cycle. Like now its me who is going though it all: dreams, principles, doubts and all that. But then, it's not in our control. And I know I am going to have kids whatever I think. But I don't know anything quite surely to be honest.
Good that I stumbled here. Take care.
hey there first time here..u write very well, I dont know what attracts me about kids, their smile or the way they hold onto ur fingers..i just love them and when they speak in their on sweet language, it just is soooooooooo sweet...
Having my two children made me feel complete. I cannot put it in words.It is truly beyond words. I cannot imagine life without them. So i had children for MYSELF not for society or out of boredom or whatever. And everyone knows how hard it is to raise children 'ideally' :)
But happy you are thinking about it.
Really thinking.
Cheers
preeti
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