A friend for each season and each reason

Friendship Day is here again. And for the last friendship day, I wrote a post on one of my fav sitcoms F.R.I.E.N.D.S. Since then I have been meaning to write a propah post on friends. And its been a year since that.. Sigh…

So well.. I have seen friendships, made friendships, lost friendships, grown out of friendships, broken friendships..smthg or the other sure kept happening. Honestly, it was very late in life that I really felt the need to have friends. Maybe cuz I have a wonderful home and I was well taken care of. Maybe every whim of mine was satisfied without friends. Maybe I was a very secure person , loner probably (still I’m) and was happy with myself. Maybe I was too good for the others (What nerve to say that!) and din’t want to associate myself with them. Maybe they were too good for me and I din’t fit in. May be I din’t trust anyone enough. Maybe I was after all too insecure to let my guard down. Don’t get me wrong guys. I was always fond of people. I loved watching them, talking to them, hanging out with them, admired them, helped them and even loved them. But friendships? I’m not too sure. The concept was never in my mind. Somehow being liked was never one of my priorities in life. I was more keen on winning arguments than winning friends. And winning arguments mostly meant that losing a friend or making an enemy.

Alrite, so I really don’t know what I want to say. Am kinda digressing from the topic. But then who is a friend? Dictionaries probably give you a set of definitions. We have literary geniuses churning up their own versions. But who is really a friend? We all have our personal definitions. If you are being a friend to someone, does that make that person ur friend by default? If you consider someone as ur friend, does that mean that person is really ur friend? Is your friend the person you love the most (outside ur family ofcorz)? Or is your friend the person who loves you the most? Or do two friends always feel equal love for each other?

I have had different kinds of friends and seen different kinds of friendships. They connect and relate to each other on a different level. And sometimes you tend to take on the personality of your friend while you hang out with them. Is communication always necessary in friendships? Or can silence communicate a lot more than words at times? Sometimes you can talk a lot to a person, and yet not feel attached at all. Sometimes you can forge strong bonds even through silence. In some friendships, it is important to know all the details. In some others, you just know that whatever the detail, your friend will stand by you. Sometimes shared interests or shared sense of humour can bring people together. Laughter definitely decreases the distance between two people. But is that good enough? Or is it even necessary? You may actively talk about your pet subjects to someone cuz u know that your listener shares the interest and understands it. A connection is definitely made there. But is that connection good enough to make you care for that person? Does an intellectual connection always lead to an emotional connection.? You may share the same kind of sense of humour with someone and laugh out a lot in their company. But does that really suggest a strong friendship? Does having fun in each others company mean that they are great friends? Is that even an indicator of whether that person will stand by you during a rough patch. You may have activity partners. If you are the partying kind, you go out together for drinks. Are they friends? If you love golf, or shopping or movies, you always find someone with similar interests. Does that mean you are friends?

I feel that how much ever we don’t want to believe it, friendships are not permanent. In some rare cases, they are. But in most cases they are not. So we sure have a friend for every reason. School friends, college friends, friends from work, friends from flat – either we or they move away. Sometimes we keep in touch, sometimes we don’t. Sometimes we want to keep in touch, but cant. Sometimes we don’t want to keep in touch. We don’t think it is very necessary. We grow out of it. Parting with a friend can be painful. But growing out of a friendship can be painless, slow and smooth. We just don’t feel their need in our lives. We may or may not keep in touch. But more often than not, the intensity of our friendship reduces a lot over time. Atleast in most cases.

So we definitely have friends for every season. Do we have friends for every reason? Looks like we do. It mite be difficult to find all the qualities that we require in a friend in one individual. So when we want to be all goofy and dumb, we have a certain set of friends. You enjoy their company, have a good time, match wits , laugh at each other’s expense and laugh at each other’s jokes. Great fun. You will be instantly pepped up in their company. Sometimes you are so comfortable in someone’s company and can talk ceaselessly, but still not feel a thing. And there are friends you run to in times of trouble. You may not be expecting any help, but you just need a listener to vent out your frustrations. Somebody to talk to about whats bothering you, somebody who can comfort you and make you feel better. And most important, somebody you can trust with very personal information. This person may not always think like you, or has an answer to your worries, but may just let you know that he is there for you. A few consoling words, a ruffle on your hair or hug can do the trick for you. But when a more philosophical question stirs up your mind, you seek out an intellectual partner who talk the same language. There are friends who protect you, friends whom you protect, friends who make you laugh, friends who laugh at your jokes, friends who cry to you, friends you cry to , friends who cry for you, friends who talk to you when you just listen, friends you talk to while they just listen, friends in whose company you both speak with each not paying enough attention to what other is saying (yet have a good time),friends you share your deepest fears with, friends you talk about the dumbest thing you have done, friends in whose company you may not talk much, yet understand how you feel for each other.

So what do you think is a friendship? What kinda friends do you have and for what reasons?

Oh! My unborn Child!

Oh  my unborn child

What right do I have to let you be born,

Into a world of miseries,

Into a life of uncertainities???

 

You never know what is in store for u

Neither ‘m I too sure of ur future.

I hope to be with you in every step u take

But u n me know that I can’t be with you for long.

 

You don’t even have a choice,

To be born or not be born is not ur call,

I take that very important decision for you

Whether you love it or not,

Live you have to with it.

 

I can’t guarantee anything

Neither can I make promises,

You may have imperfections u detest

You may hate urself for the way your are

You can’t  chose your family

Neither can u chose the way u are

These are decisions I take.

 

So my unborn child

Do I really have the  right

to throw u into a life designed by me.

All you have to do is just live

Cuz the call has been mine!!!! 

 

I often wonder why people have kids? Before u raise your eyebrows, I would like to clarify that I absolutely adore kids. Though, I can be a lil biased and fall for the cute, chirpy kids, the truth is that I find almost all kids cute. I love their innocence and playfulness. I love baby-talking with them. And being the eldest grand child of the big family, I took it upon myself to look after all the kids. I was their unofficial caretaker. And I’m protective about strangers’ kids by default.  I keep a vigilant eye on kids who run around in restaurants or malls and keep a protective hand over their head when they are going to bang it onto something sharp. That said, I’m not excited at the prospect of having my own kids. Always beats me. What is it that inspire people to have kids. I would really like to know.

1. You believe in the cycle of life. Birth,  childhood, growing up, marriage, having kids  and death – u believe in this cycle and follow it unquestioningly. Nothing more, nothing less.
2. U have an intense longing to father or mother a child. You love to cradle a baby and enjoy the process of bringing him/her up or watch him/her grow.
3. Pressure from the family or society.
4. Don’t really know. Just going with the flow.
5. You are bored with ur current life/partner even though u love them. U think u need something more to make it more meaningful.
6. Any other reason.
7. Hope that the kids will take care of you when you are old.

 

I may sound crazy, and most people I talked to regarding this dismissed myself as being crazy. But the truth is that they don’tw ant to discuss or worse still, they don’t sometimes know. I would love it if you share your views on this. 

 

Life's Good!

I took a really long break from work. I had tonnes if things to do, but I squeezed in a family vacation. Went to Bangalore with my parents to attend my sister’s convocation at IIM. The students were all looking very smart and brimming with confidence ( as said by the the chief Guest Mukesh Ambani) in their black gowns. I was reminded of my own college convocation where we all donned golden yellow robes. The predicaments of studying in Chennai. Sigh!!! Anyhoo, as u can imagine, convocation was a boring and arduously long affair. Some of the speeches were painfully long. But I dint listen anyway. I just got up to watch my sis and few of her close friends receive their certificates. Missed most part of the speeches delivered by some Justice and then Mukesh Ambani. I thought Mukesh Ambani was wayyyy too simple than I imagined. Every one was impressed with his speech. I found nothing particularly impressive about his speech, atleast the parts that I managed to listen. And he did blame the current recession on ‘Greed without Fear’. I wondered whether he was the right person to talk about it. So though I was bored with the whole convo thing, I enjoyed being away from home, meeting some fresh faces and meeting some people I have met before and have caught up online later. And I was looking forward to the grand dinner at IIM. It ought to be grand, cuz it was IIM and it was their convo and all. But the dinner was a disappointment, except the yummy ice-cream and gulabjamun combo. So that din’t stop me from eating.

From Bangalore, we headed to Coorg. And I was a bit sad for my sis and myself. For my sis, cuz she was leaving a place she sooo loved and friends she is sooo close to. And for myself, I really don’t know. Just felt sad. This whole bye bye blues catches me totally unawares. So we headed to Coorg and the journey till Mysore was not vey smooth. We got into a non AC Sumo and was baked. That’s all we got, thanks to bad planning! From Mysore got into an AC Scorpio which was suchaaaa relief. But I was not too happy with the insufficient leg space, but we managed it alrite. Spend a night at Coorg and then headed to Wayanad. The holiday as such was amaaazing, though there was no posh stay and fine dining (two prerequisites for a good holiday in my opinion). But it was great to be with family. At home, each of us are caught up in our own world and doing our individual thing. So I think a change in scene is wonderful to bond. The light-hearted conversation, laughter, long drives, winding roads, misty mornings, fresh air ( it really does wonders), rolling down the windows and letting the wind blow on ur face, dreamily sitting in the car without a worry in the world, wild life sanctuaries, the elephant ride (finally managed to do it), the anticipation and fear of spotting wild animals while moving through the national park,, watching rabbits nibble on the leaves, climbing upto the tree house, clicking photographs, watching the Buddhist monks pray at the Tibetan monastery, home made chocolates, salted mango with chilly powder sprinkled all over, vinegar-ed pineapple, honey-ed amla – BLISS!

Now m back home, but my break is still on. I’m just getting wasted, but thoroughly enjoying it. Sleeping as much as I want ( but trying not to overdo it, cuz it is a habit hard to snap out of), reading, catching up on blogs, writing my own blog , planning to go out for shopping ( too lazy to get out) , planning to go out for movies (again too lazy to get out) and generally lazing around. And most important, not crying anymore. Looks like I have finally got the reigns of life. I’m glad, life is still good!!!!

Quick run up

 

I’m back and I hope to stay. Blogging is a great let out for me. It is amazing to connect with people, being heard, reading others’ responses to what you had to say and reading what  other people have to say. I did miss blogging. And though, I was not very active in the blogging scene, I did regularly read up most of your new posts. Sometimes on the same day, sometimes a little late. But read I did. Only thing  is that I din’t stop to comment most of the time. Anyhow, since I’m back again, I vow myself to be more true to myself. Most often, I end up writing things that I thought people would want to hear or just to create a certain impression about myself. Well, these impressions are not completely disconnected  from my personality, they are indeed a leaf out of my blog. But this time onwards, I will try and be moré open. I will try and be less of a mystery. Actually, a lot of people think I’m quite mysterious. And I guess they are justified in thinking so.

 

So, I have been busy on the professional front. Not tat I was over working. But I do have a job and that doesn’t leave me with much time to do anything else, say for example blogging. I know, I know,  a lot of people do it, but I just din’t take the time. Maybe cuz I do a writing job and too much of writing can drive me nuts. And on the personal front, I was going through a lean phase, and that left me with a  frame of mind  which din’t really let me write. I was completely distressed. I just headed from work to home and shut myself up in my room and cried. Never called anyone , hardly talked to friends, din’t bother  much about what I wore or how I looked, hardly went out or watched movies. I just sat in my room and sulked, cried, analyzed, over analyzed and cried again when I couldn’t find a solution. I was totally broken. And then I decided that I had enough of ruining my life. I realized no one can help me, but myself. So I decided to take a break and went on a family vacation. And honestly, it did wonders to me. I’m back, feeling all refreshed and I hope I can stay this positive and happy all the time.

 

PS : Sorry that I din;t take up the tags and dint even thank for the awards bestowed on me. Will be more prompt henceforth. But time just flew and I din’t even know. 

Tagged!

Tagged by Chandni loong time back. I was not very regular with my blogs., hence the delay. Anyways, here it is...

I am: still trill trying to discover what I'm. Maybe I should just stop trying and just be!
I think: A LOT!!!
I know: that I'm truly blessed
I want: lots of time to myself, to be in constant touch with people I care about, a daily dose of humour and a fair share of adrenaline rush!
I have: Terrible mood swings.
I wish: I could clear all the misunderstandings I had with few loved ones.
I hate: cunning foxes/ control freaks/chauvinists
I miss: the younger, carefree days.
I fear: growing old, losing my loved ones, dying with unfulfilled wishes, visiting the doc
I feel: that each person is special. One cannot replace the other.
I hear: hardly anything that is being said. Blame it on my short attention span. I hear the first two words and off I go to the la la land.
I smell: nothing at the moment
I crave: some spicy, yummy biriyani
I search: for answers to life’s questions. Nobody seems to have them.
I wonder: when things will be alright
I regret: the missed opportunities, lost time, hurting few people, not valuing certain people
I love: great conversation and good company!
I ache: quite often
I am not: able to live up to my own expectations.
I sing: when no one is around.
I cry: very often.
I don't always: have control over my own actions
I fight: for the sheer pleasure of it/ when I'm wronged/when I'm right
I write: when the mood strikes
I win: whenever I try. But the point is I hardly ever try.
I lose: my patience easily.
I never: like to betray someone.
I always: make sure I keep my word.
I confuse: myself. And sometimes ppl around me too.
I listen: when people talk about things that matter to them, despite the short attention span.
I can usually be found: dreaming away to glory
I need: my space, conversation and fodder for my thoughts.
I am happy about: everything I have. Yet I need more.
I imagine: a lot!

I would like to tag:
maverick
viki
vinesh
blindwreck
sansmerci
gurlwoman
mac
lone woolf

Devil’s Advocate - I

Big Boys Don’t Cry

After I typed it down, I realised it is soooo much like another blog i read.. views here are my own. But ideas are indeed inspired  b y and are refelcted on another blog.

I’m almost always the devil’s advocate. And most of the time I find myself rooting for the underdog. So what if I cheer for the hot favourite occasionally, I never leave behind my underdog. But then, this is really not about underdogs in the true sense of the word. This is about MEN!!!. Men never get credit in feminist circles, do they??? So though this takes to strangle the feminist in me, I would still give some credit to men.

Women (mostly the unmarried, childless kind) often discuss how “painful” a woman’s life is. We have to bear that excruciating pain of giving birth to a child. We don’t even have a choice here, do we? Epidurals or not, child birth is complicated. I’m sure women who have been through it will nod in agreement and the women who have not been thru it (and don’t really fancy the idea) will nod in horror. So its like saying that if the living world has to continue, the female of the species has to go through this pain. Its such a mammoth responsibility on our tender shoulders. It is just assumed that women have some inherent quality to grind their teeth through pain!. Wait till you catch me getting a waxing done. I shriek when they pull the strip out and stop short of swearing at the saloon ladies. I can’t exactly swear cuz what if they decide to get even and pour some really hot wax on my bare legs?? :O. Or catch me when I’m chumming and in pain, when am cranky and curse myself for being a woman : O…. Oops.. Sorry! I was supposed to be taking men’s side. I lost track and started cribbing bout my sad life.

So here is what I wanted to say. True, we have to bear a lotta pain. But women can also scream. We can cry!!! We don’t have to put up a brave face. We can jump to the roof when we see a lizard. A man would make a total moron out of himself if he as much as let out a squeal.

If the pain is emotional, we can call up friends and shed buckets of tears and feel light. In return, we get a lotta comforting and care, sympathy and bonding. We have understanding girl pals who will lets us vent and listen to our ravings and rants, while we binge on mood-lifting chocolate cakes. We can go on a shopping spree or atleast do window shopping if we are broke. We can pamper ourselves with a head massage and pedicure (even these two are painful though) and feel really good. A man who cries in public becomes a wuss. So what do they do?? Cut themselves off from fellow men, turn aloof and divert their attention into something. Or worse (yeah worse), joke about it over beer.

Well… I say worse because I have seen a male friend go through a really rough patch. Now since he couldn’t deal with his own emotions, he would trivialize his miseries and joke about it. I knew him well enough to realize that it was all a farce and he was hurting inside. But most people thought he was being insensitive and hurt him more!!! There was a lot of pressure on him to abstain from breaking down in public. But , women don’t have to bottle it all up or indulge in self depreciating humour. We can shed tears till we feel better and gear up for the next pain. There is nothing as cathartic as a good cry! Sigh!

The song currently playing in my head : Buffalo Sodier - Bob Marley.

PS : The song has no relevance to the topic discussed here. Just happened to be the song I'm humming now.

Have you ever surprised yourself?

We often believe that we know ourselves best. We even pride on the fact that we are complete masters of our mind. And our actions. But there are times when you surprise yourself. -Crying at the most inappropriate place for crazy reasons even when you have fought back tears during worse adversaries, laughing at the crappiest of jokes despite being fully aware of its crappiness, had feelings for the kinda people you never thought you would fall for, suffered silently through gross injustice even when you are a fighter, made friends with the most unlikely people, had lengthy conversation with people you can never relate to, loved the corniest of songs that you are ashamed of admitting, found the gawkiest of people attractive, stood up for the ones who never meant anything to you.

Has any of this ever happened to you?

Trust doesn’t come easy to me. But then, I surprised myself and trusted someone soon. But the person turns around and backstabs me. So I decide to give her the silent treatment. Now that is something I’m so good at. But then I surprise myself AGAIN and talk to her!!! And I still haven’t forgiven myself for doing this!

So how have you surprised urself??

Coffee, Conversation and others….

Its back to the grind again! After a long break, m back to the corporate world. And that explains my absence from blogsville! And how much ever earning for yourself feels good, I really miss that blissful state of joblessness! Sigh…I can no longer stay up late into the night doing.. well…almost nothing. I cant sleep late into the mornings. I have a schedule to stick to and life is mechanical once again. I hate not being in control of my life anymore. If there is anything that I badly want, it is to follow my whims and fancies at every turn and never be told what is to be done. So being on my own, not having to follow rules made me a lazy bum. Now I’m battling to snap outta it. Now my eyes have a mind of their own. And to keep them from falling shut, I ‘m consuming excessive coffee! It indeed is a stimulant. And then while I sip on my coffee, I think of 25 years of work life that’s stretching ahead me!!! Life has just begun and I have to work for another 25 years NON STOP! Sigh….. And I realized another thing. Since I write the whole day at work, I’m no more motivated to blog. I never knew this would happen to me. Now that explains the crappiness of this post. Yeah, yeah! I blame it all on work stress! (Chuckle)

A typical mid -20 female conversation 

This is an online conversation I had with my friend P some time back. Thot I should put it down here.

P – guess wot! I'm turning 27 in two days!!!

Me – age is just a number girl

P – Yeah, U say that cuz ur only 24! Lets wait till u turn 27!

Me- well… not really… 24 or 27, u have earned that many years of ur life. So u gotta be proud of it.

P – Proud?!?!? ! U miss out on the babe factor.

Me – Oh! No! Ur the ultimate babe! 20 or 30!

P – Well…J thinks so atleast

Me – J is crazy

P – That he is...

Me - Lol..

P - But then he says according to his company’s marketing surveys youth wud mean upto 25!

Me – tell his company to go to hell. So by his own company’s standards he is old eh?

P – Yeah, he admits he is old...Damn! I feel so old. Suddenly I feel jealous of u!

Me- Well.. in three years I will be there too

P – and in three years I will be 30. THIRTY!!!

Me- hmmm…

P- I already started checking out anti-ageing creams

Me – Oh C’mon!!! What u talking bout??

P- Yeah, they say it’s a downhill from 25. Your ageing process begins at 25!

Me- Did J say this too to freak u out?

P – No di... I read it somewhere.

Me – Yeah!!! Ur rite… tat rings a bell somewhere! Tatz terrible!!!

P – Yeah! Tatz exactly what I was telling u!

Me -hmmm..Whoever said age is a number probably died young. That jack ass doesn’t know what growing old feels like! Whew!!!

P – LOL!

Kidding myself!

How long could I be kidding myself??? I get myself into believing that it is all alright. But deep inside I know it is not. I'm the creator of my own myseries, they say. Little do they know what it is to feel miserable. Else they wouldn put the onus on me. It is like telling me that 'm cutting my flesh into lil pieces. Why would I ever do that??

Then I look around. I see the unfortunate and the underprivileged. And then I ask myself what right do I have to cry?? I'm blessed in so many ways. And all I think about is what is out of my reach. I forget to value everything that I have. So then again I kid myself. I tell myself I have everything I need. Or I need only what I have. Even when I know its not true.

Sometimes I wish I could be shallow. Bcuz the deeper you are, the deeper it hurts. And I have a bloody soul. It wudn rest with a false solace!!!

Let me be me

The wound just wouldn't heal
and the stubborn pain refuses to leave
its pierced me deep, tugging at my flesh
but m holding it close, for a false solace.


My eyes are dry
my head is dizzy
and I 've put on a fake smile


I've no sunshine here
no cheer to spread
I sell no dreams of vibrant hues
Would u still want me to stay?


I'm tired of this facade
Can I tear away this mask?
for its hurting me


Can I shed a tear?
for I cant hold it back any longer


Can I not smile
for my lips are sucked dry


Can I be me?
For once, will u pls let me be me????

Not tagged, yet a tag!

Well… Nobody tagged me this time. I took it up shamelessly from Mac’s. Anyways he was generous and said anyone can. And I sooo loved this one. So here it goes :-

I realized that things have changed, so I have a fresh set of things to tell people. So here is the edited version.

Ten things I wish I could say to people right now

1. I miss u, sometimes terribly too!

2. I'm sad that I messed things up. I should have been smarter.

3. Hey woman! I hate u cuz I know u are not as nice as u pretend to be. I also know that u are cheating at least one person. I'm also sure that you don't deserve what u are getting. I wish u rot in hell. No wait, I can't wait that long. I wish u rot in earth itself.

4. Hey woman! are u playing with people's hearts? Pls don't. You are a nice person, but u din't always do the nicest things.

5. I like u a lot. But u gossip too much. And I do think jealousy is one of ur negative traits.

6. I have a really good time with u, still I don't like u as much as I'm supposed to like u.

7. I like u a lot. But I just don't like that you are being so biased.

8. Every time I'm down, it helps a lot when I talk to u.

9. I wish I knew u better.

10. We are very different, still u are awesome!

Nine things about myself.

1. I’m impressed by chivalry. Yet it embarrasses me. And I wonder if it’s for real.
2. I cry very often (but never in public) sometimes I cry late into the night worrying bout losing people I love.

3. I keep my word. And go great lengths to ensure it.
4. I can adore someone as much as I despise them.
5. I’m an absolute absent minded freak.
6. I don’t trust anyone easily.
7. But you can trust me. Confide, and ur secret is safe with me.
8. Get into my bad books and you run the risk of being there. Forever.
9. It’s extremely difficult for me to say Goodbye. Sometimes I avoid meeting people cuz I cant face the good bye part.


Eight ways to win my heart.
1. Talk well, write well, dress well, look good. – Yeah superficial I know. But first impression??

2. Make me laugh. And laugh with me. Match my wits. And win me over.

3. Confide in me

4. Have a deep conversation with me / Inspire me.

5. Be modest and honest. Tell me the truth. Even when it hurts. But learn the art of diplomacy.

6. Share my interests/traits. Even the not so great ones.

7. Be unconventional.

8. Tell me all the dumb things u have done. Makes me feel better. And I’l think you’re cute.


Seven things that cross my mind a lot –
1. My parents health.
2. My future.
3. Death/ life’s mysteries/ God/ religion
4. I wish I was a man!!
5. Pls own up when you are wrong. I appreciate it. And even though its difficult to forgive, I’l try.
6. Ask a lotta questions ONLY if I like u. Else u repel me.
7. Ask me politely. U will get almost anything. Order me around. Sorry, u lost ur chance!

Six things I wish I never did.
Hmmm… I don’t regret anything that I have done. Regret not doing certain things though.


Five turn off's

1. Control freaks
2. chauvinists/lechers
3. being curt
4. being selfish.
5. atrocious sense of dressing / make up

Four turn on's.

1. A sense of humour
2. Gentleness
3. beauty
4. intensity – whatever that means ;)

Three things I want to do before I die.

1. Spend more time with people I love.
2. Chase my dreams.
3. Be the first one to die. I cant watch my loved ones die. Neither can I live without them.

Two smileys that describe me
;)
:o

One confession.
At every point in time, I wish I was someone else, living elsewhere.

Fun or funny???

Someone told me the other day - "U r obviously fun girl! but not so much funny!"

I wonder what's really the difference. Any idea guys??

The 'This... Or That' game

This game is draining me out, emotionally! Its breaking me to bits. Life is throwing different options, and all I need to do is weigh the pros and cons and pick the best one. But in typical Libran style, I’m dodging things due to my indecisiveness. I don’t want to miss out on a wonderful opportunity. Nor Do I want to end up making the wrong decision and regret for the rest of my life. This is a decisive phase, and m indecisive! Sigh!..

Chic(k) Fever

The following is a post I wrote around 3 yrs back on a different blog (That this was the ONLY post in that blog is another story!) The context of the post is relevant today, yet certain aspects are not. Yet I have kept it completely unchanged!

Avian Influenza, more fondly referred to as Bird Flu is the latest thing to hit the headlines. Each time me and my ‘pure’ non-vegetarian fellow beings heave a sigh of relief at its eradication, its back with more gusto. It has made it impossible for chicken -hearted chicken lovers to eat anything at all. One can’t even gulp down a glass of cold coffee with cream, in peace. Why, cream can have eggs too. So does delightful to look at, heavenly to eat chocolate cakes. And if one chooses to binge on some safer varieties of non-vegetarian, a concerned friend warns us about the unlikely chance of chicken being mixed with it. Here, we are not exactly questioning the sanity of the chefs, but accidents do happen!


At this point in time, I lose hope and turn to God Almighty. I ask him, “God, why do you always put us non vegetarian patrons to test? Us, who cant do with out it for breakfast, lunch and dinner, sometimes brunch, and don’t really mind snacking on their different varieties through out the day. Why doesn’t any one hear about deadly diseases that catch vegetables, which when consumed can churn out human intestines? ” Iam still awaiting an answer from above.


Post- tsunami was a dreaded phase for all the fish lovers of the world. People with faint hearts (and stomachs) had to think twice before devouring those thorny delicacies. Then there was Anthrax, which caught the cows and the pigs. I wondered why God dint give these four-legged creatures a chance to die a more noble death – by satiating some incurable non-vegetarian’s craving!!! Now who is responsible if they go to hell? And the latest to join the bandwagon is the chic fever.



I call it chic fever for very specific reasons, because anything to do with this deadly disease has become fashionable. This time the trendsetter was the Ministry Of Health and Welfare itself. In an all out attempt to win the foodies back, the Ministry indulged in a daily dose of very explicit ‘Go For It’ ads. For the benefit of the uninitiated, the chic fever did serious damage to the poultry business. So the national newspapers, obviously under the ministry’s demand, carried pictures of mouth-watering Tandoori chicken full and boiled eggs, with a copy convincing us that it is perfectly safe to consume chicken and shying away from digging into it is nothing short of stupidity. Next day we hear the news of another thousands of hens being culled!!! At this juncture, Iam deeply moved by the caring concern of the Ministry. They definitely felt that dying was a better option than holding back one’s urges. Or they probably believed that all of us had to die one day, so why not eat to one’s heart’s content and die a peaceful death.


The ministry’s ‘eat-chicken’ campaign was in the lines of ‘winning confidence back’ ad campaigns that Pepsi and Cadbury’s ran – Pepsi, when accused of containing pesticides and Cadbury’s to defend the presence of worms in their chocolates. Iam forced to think that Ministry lacks credible ideas. An ad featuring ‘Punjab da Puttar’ Virender Sehwag digging into Tandoori Murg and then hitting a sixer (If the Ambanis can, so can they) or better still, two nubile nymphets fighting over a piece of chicken, all the while ignoring the hot dude beside them, would have appealed to the audience.



It took an interesting or rather enlightening conversation with my maid to make a cynic like me probe beyond the obvious. She was understandably excited because for her, the chic fever is a blessing in disguise. She and her family, her three kids included, are thrilled because chicken is now available at affordable prices, sometimes even free. Then I think about many such people, who would prefer eating chicken, risking death to starving themselves to death. So like everything else, this chic fever too is a two-sided affair. Only I was a little late to realize. We might not always know how, but God definitely has a plan. Amen.

Women.....As we know them

When life got busier, I moved away from friendships and acquaintances forged at an earlier phase of life. I could afford to lose them and go on to bigger things, and today I can afford to look back at them with fondness. The last year has been one of rebonding-with-old-pals types. And what did I find?? Boys, I must admit, have remained the same all through these years. Only they have become a little serious since the last time we met. Priorities have changed but of course. They have moved on from bikes, babes and booze to make more money. Pray why?? For better bikes, babes and booze. Boys will always be boys!!! Women, on the other hand , have changed. Each meeting with old female acquaintances shed some light on how they grew and I was tempted to put then into little boxes.



The Single, Independent Women – Slogged their assess off to make a career for themselves. Fiercely independent, one admires their confidence just as one despises their arrogance. In typical corporate jargon, they talk about their six-figure income, high-profile meetings, busy schedules, deals clinched and battles won. Hiding behind that aggressive façade and tired eyes is a vulnerable soul lamenting over broken friendships, lost sleep and loneliness.



The Happily Married Women – Married early to rich men, sacrificing education, career and independence, but thought nothing of it. They throw subtle references to trips made to exotic foreign locations and their brand new diamond collections. They are ladies with class, so stating things explicitly will be thoroughly out of the question. Though comfortably tucked in their cocooned life, they regret not making a mark of their own. And since they don’t work to contribute monetarily to the house, they have more time, but less liberty.



The Single, Dependent Women – Screwed up on their studies, because they were busy having fun. Couldn’t make a rewarding career for themselves cuz they were dating men. Full of hope and despair, they still are dependent on the men in their lives (read fathers, boyfriends). They have enviable tales to narrate bout the exciting adventure called life. Suddenly they realize life needs more stability and security, but find that the men they were dating fall short of being the right guy.. Their education is either inadequate or inappropriate to take them to great heights. They realize it’s too late to start all over again, but too early to stop dreaming.


Each of the meetings I had were planned to renew friendships and catch up on old pals. And look what I got. Love has been totally lost. From their hearts as well as mine. What could have been a pleasnt walk down the memory lane, ended up being some kinda 'who has gotten ahead" contest. Every sentence uttered had an undertone of “hey, I’m having a better life”. And though I wasn’t prepared for this, I fell into it headlong, each and every time. And at the end of it all, I realized that the picture I had in mind of these women as lil girls were far more comforting than met the eye. I'm sad I ruined that beautiful picture!!!

PS: There is poll put up at the right corner. pls vote. Thanks in advance!

And tho 1 and 3 remain the same, the 2nd option is actually interesting, moderately well off n ugly!!! (unattractive was just a polite way of putting it. And this is with refernce to in case 2 ONLY) I realized I had placed it above the rest!

Lost...

Recently I read a blog where the last post (at the time of reading) was on life - offering us different choices or it imposing on us. Now I dont seem to find that blog. I dont remember the blog title either. I'm sure I reached that space through some of ur blogs. Do comment if u know this blog!

Soul searching!!!

Your Life Path Number is 9

Your purpose in life is to make the world better You are very socially conscious and a total idealist. You think there are many things wrong with the world, and you want to fix them. You have a big idea of how to world could be, and you'll sacrifice almost anything to work towards this dream. In love, you can easily see the beauty in someone else. And you never cling too tightly. You are capable of great love, but it's hard for you to focus your love on one person or relationship. You have a lot of outward focus, and you tend to blame the world for your failures. You are often disappointed by the realities of life - it's hard for you to accept the shortcomings of the world.

What Is Your Life Path Number?

Your Love Number is 4

You are a creative and expressive lover - a true romantic at heart. An introspective soul, you know exactly how your ideal relationship should be. But if you don't get that ideal, you tend to get a bit pouty and dramatic. You need someone who can roll with the punches, that's for sure!

What Is Your Love Number?

You Are a Peacemaker Soul

You strive to please others and compromise anyway you can. War or conflict bothers you, and you would do anything to keep the peace. You are a good mediator and a true negotiator. Sometimes you do too much, trying so hard to make people happy. While you keep the peace, you tend to be secretly judgmental. You lose respect for people who don't like to both give and take. On the flip side, you've got a great sense of humor and wit. You're always diplomatic and able to give good advice. Souls you are most compatible with: Warrior Soul, Hunter Soul and Visionary Soul

What Kind of Soul Are You?

Your Dominant Thinking Style: Modifying

Super logical and rational, you consider every fact available to you. You don't make rash decisions and are rarely moved by emotion. You prefer what's known and proven - to the new and untested. You tend to ground those around you and add stability.

What's Your Thinking Style?

People! $#$# off!

How I loath receiving advice! Esply on something real personal. And more so when the advisor believes in stereotypical gender roles!! I so Bloody hate it. When somebody tells me "hey.. this is what a woman should do!" Then I will NEVER do it. Who created these roles after all? Whatever we say bout moving ahead, we still live in regressive times. We never, once think about straying from laid down rules. Thatz unthinkable! A woman's biggest enemy is a woman most of the times.

I'm freaking mad at someone who passed a remark and I'm fuming here. How can somebody else just 'decide' what my future would be and how I should lead my life. Why do some people refuse to acknowledge tht life offers so many BLOODY choices!!! Its only upto ME to decide wot I want to pick. Its MY life for heaven's sake! I will play hide n seek with it, throw it up in te air n catch it, kill myself or do what ever I wanna do with it. Who is anybopdy else to comment on??? Just buzz off people!!! Get a life outside mine!

People are bloody jealous! Just cuz they had a tough life, they just wont let anyone else have a good life! Their attitude is something as regressive as this " There was no transport years back, so ppl had to walk. So even today, when u have all these cars, u still HAVE to walk. Any other mode is unthinkable"! Where's the fucking logic???

Boy! m still freaking out here! but wot wud have I done without this blog??I wud have probably hit tat person on the head!!!

To Sis, With Love

The world and its Uncle might have already wished u a great Newyears. This is my first post of the year, hence the delay. Hope u all had loads of fun. I had fun too. Here’s wishing all my readers a lovely year ahead filled with loads of happiness, good health, love and laughter!!



My sis was home for a week. And I had a lovely time with her. We talked a great deal, shopped a lot, lunched out and watched movies together. Shez grown to become one of my best buddies now. I’m amazed at how we grew from ‘hating’ each other to loving each other again.


When I was a child, I used to dote on my lil sister. She was my sweet little baby and I loved her to bits. We had our share of sibling fights (never rivalry, just fights), but then like all sisters we patched up. But then teenage happened and we couldnt see each other eye to eye. It would be more precise to say I couldn’t stand her, cuz she was still nice to me. Only I thought having a sister (younger esply) was a curse!!! Maybe because having a sis meant having to share all things girlie and precious (yeah, like plastic bangles, satin ribbons or lace!). Or having a younger sibling meant having to give in all the time cuz I was ‘older’ even at 2 years.!! Or cuz she always got the bigger slab of chocolate cuz she was younger and u know she would ‘cry’. I always wanted to have a big bro. I don’t remember the reasons, but mebbe cuz all my buddies had elder brothers. But I also remember that was hardly the reason for my fights with sis. I was just stubborn and spoilt!


We both had more than our share of endless fights which went on for days unsettled. . One fight led to another and days turned into weeks, weeks into months, months into years! Our resentment grew with age. We looked through each other, hardly talked, behaved like the other person didn’t exist. We were two strangers living under the same roof! But slowly, but steadily, we resolved our differences. But by the time we were back to our old selves, it was time for both of us to move on with our lives. Higher education and career took us away from home. Then I would time my visits to home according to her hols so that we could be together. That was when I realized the value of all those years I wasted hating her!!


Today, it’s hardly possible to meet her as often as I want to. And each meeting would normally last less than a week. That’s just not enough! As days go by, we are gonna get busier with our lives. I would often dream of times when my parents, me and sis would ‘live’ (and not holiday) together in the same house, leave the same house in the morning for work and come back to the same house in the evening. And most important, we wouldn’t have to worry about catching a train to somewhere else tomorrow.


But things had to change. And now that she has left, I feel so empty. Even today, we don’t talk much like other sisters do. Me n sis are diametrically opposite people. We have different takes on life and our idea of fun is totally different. Yet, she is such an awwwesome person, ALWAYS willing to put the other person before her! And it’s wonderful to have her around. I can order her around, nag her endlessly, bore her with my PJs, pull her legs and when I feel like it, just run to her and give her a tight hug. So today I say, “Sisters are such a blessing”!!! Love ya babe, mwaaah!

Its all bout being a WOMAN!

You Are a Total Girlie Girl

You love looking good, and wooing men with your womanly ways. You're so feminine, men are in awe of you ... which is a very good thing.

How Feminine Are You?

Guys Think You're Easy to Be With... But Not Easy

You're definitely a flirt - and a good one. But you also know that you shouldn't make a move on any cute guy who passes by. You save your seductive moves for someone who already knows the real you. That way, your sex appeal is just part of the whole package.

Are You An Easy Girl?

You Are 91% Feminist

You are a total feminist. This doesn't mean you're a man hater (in fact, you may be a man). You just think that men and women should be treated equally. It's a simple idea but somehow complicated for the world to put into action.

Are You a Feminist?

You Are A Girl!

Are you ever serious? Well, you're seriously playful. And guys are attracted to your girlish spirit and all the fun that follows. Your girlish, temper, however... well, they could live without that. Not to worry though, you never stay upset for long. It's off to the next adventure.

Are You A Girl Or a Woman?