Happy Birthday Love!!!

I always liked the tall, broad, wheatish types... Either that or the bespectacled , intelligent, tall types. I was never into the fair, cutiee,chocolate types. I have always seen my friends drooling over the chocolate boys, but they captured neither my interest nor attention. I swooned over naughty, mischeivous smile (the kallachiri, as I often call it) instead. And guys with a great sense of dressing (and can tell beige from brown), attractive and brisk body language and lotta energy. But I never thot that I would find that combination in one package. And then u walked into my life, and I was floored!!! Even though it was definitely not love at first sight for me, u managed to create a very positive first impression. But then I had a million nagging doubts in my heart. What if ur a pyscho? What if you are a playboy? What if ur a pathological flirt( that kallachiri didn't help ur case). What if ur a compulsive liar? (again ur kallachiri landed u in trouble). Slowly, but surely, the doubt and insecurities disappeared. After endless discussions, fights, tears and breakups (ahem! ahem!), we are here today!!! And I must say that ur unfaltering smile still makes my heart skip a beat!!! :):):)

During our first date, I was over-joyed to know that u are passionate about travelling, food and movies - three of my loves too!! As we plan and dream about all the wonderful holidays that we would take in future, I cannot stop beaming with such immense joy. And food.... I always wanted someone who enjoys food and loves experimenting. When we start talking about food, there is no stopping us. And its amazing that we enjoy the same kinda movies and keep quoting lines outta them :)... We love the same things, believe in the same things and share many interests. Iam so glad that you share my aesthetic taste too, so we don't have to fight over the colour of the curtain or the shape of the coffee table. I can easily trust you to buy me something and can rest assured that u will get back with something I like. I am thrilled when I go shopping with you. You enjoy shopping too (as much as a guy is legally allowed to enjoy :D) and do not mind going from shop to shop looking for the right stuff!

We have our differences too. My relationship with sports ends with just knowing how to spell it right. But you are not just an ardent fan, but u also thoroughly enjoy getting out into the field and sweating it out there. I can sniff some very passionate channel wars in future...As I often tell you, whenever a new gadget hits town, ur the first to know and am the last to know. Iam lazy and laidback. Ur high on energy. God! Its tough keeping pace with you... I sit up in awe and watch, as you neatly fold clothes and pack them into your suitcase. Me, on the other hand, belive in the "Curl and Throw" theory. I curl my clothes into a ball and throw them into the cupboard or suitcase. :P.. And am a whiner!!! I used to exude lotta negative energy, crib endlessly, wallow in self-pity, seek out melancholy and run to you for solace. But u didn't entertain it one bit and made it very clear that u cannot find solutions to my "unreal" problems. Your indifference did help me be a stronger person, even though it thoroughly shattered me initially!! That said, whenever I had "real problems" and was in "real need", u were alwaysss there for me :):):)... U exude lotta positive energy and always focus on the brighter things in life. And ur positivity has rubbed off on me. I feel that I have become a better person now.

Your are a perfect combination of all things awesome - You are such a fun person and share my brand of humour. I absolutely enjoy hanging out with you. You love all the fun things in life. Yet, I have never seen someone more responsible than you. I sometimes wonder how you keep track of so many things, follow up on them, organize things in the head, takes initiatives and manages everything so responsibly.... You are assertive and sticks to your word when it comes to matters of principles.. But when it comes to matters of heart, you are as tender as it can get... When u have made up ur mind, no amount of crying, coaxing, cajoling or cootchie cooing will work with you.. but u melt into mush when somone u love is hurt....I have heard a lot of girls complaining that the men in their lives are so unemotional. But am truly glad that u totally get my emotional side and even enjoy a bit of emotional conversation. Sometimes ur just a child being all silly, sometimes you are all so naughty and fun like a guy, at other times you take charge like a man and handle the situation so well....And I SOOO love that AGRESSIVE-GENTLE combination!!! You are an extrovert and can keep the conversation going forever, yet when I tell you smthg close to my heart, you listen raptly with genuine interest. You love adventure, excitement and taking risks, but that doesn't make you reckless. You are a sensible person who thinks things through, plays it safe and plans things in great detail... You are a realistic guy, with his feet firmly planted on the ground. But you are also the more romantic one in the relationship. You remember birthdays (not just mine, but everyone who matters to you), do cute lil romantic things, say all the right lines and get all moist-eyed when I say smthg mushy.

Something that really brought us together is our love for our respectives families. We both realise and understand that family is supreme, and that there are very few things that are more important than the families. We find so much pleasure in spending time with our family and absolutely treasure such moments of togetherness. I have been teased by friends many times when I chose my family over friends. But Iam absolutely sure that I have been right. We both are very clear that being in a relationship or getting married won't change our love for our families. Sure, priorities must and will change, but we do know that some relationships are forever.

Iam soooo happy that ur bonding well with my family, esply my Dad. Its nice when the two men in my life talk fondly about each other.(And now I have a feeling that u both have ur own secrets that u dnt share with me :O) The day u told me that my Dad is a nice person, is one of the happiest days of my life! I see a lot of him in you - the principles & values, the optimism, the undying spirit, sibling love, the responsibility, the protectiveness and caring. Yet, you two are poles apart. Dad is such a cynic and ur such a believer!! And am glad u have none of his cynicism. Dad fights when someone is unfair to him, but u smooth-talk ur way( unless fighting is the only remaining option).. Dad believes that Newyears, festivals and birthdays are just another days, where as u treat them as moments for celebrations... Iam glad :)

Iam so happy when I see you doting over ur nephew and niece in particular, and over kids in general. Iam sure that you will make an amazing Dad. I have an awesome Dad, and want my kids to have an awesome Dad too (mostly cuz their mom would be a lost case :D).

But of all the amazing qualities that you have, something that really defines you is ur heart of gold(I say this at the risk of sounding cliched). You are genuine to a fault and is an extremely loyal person. You make friends for life and stand by them thru thick and thin. (whether u keep in touch or not). I often tell you that ur truly blessed to have such life-long friendships. But smthg that I rarely tell you is that you really deserve such everlasting friendships cuz u have earnt them. You cannot see anyone hurt and you often go out of ur way to keep everyone around you happy. You protect the underdogs and go an extra mile to help a needy person. Once during our galavanting, when we bumped into two girls who were lost (two pretty bombshells, so no underdogs mind you, but still they were lost!), you tried your best to help them out (out of genuine humanitarian concern i believe). Though I had a bad headache the whole day (okay, I faked it cuz I was mighty pissed off with ye :D), I secretly admired you. You are honest to the core. Sure, u can think up lies on ur feet and cook up stories. But as u say, ur an open book and if people can read you, they will know you. But you have also taught me that its okay to lie if it saves someone a heartache. You never do something just cuz it is a cool thing to do, but you are individualistic enough to do things on ur own terms .

We both believed in the beauty of a stable and strong relationship. Our friends advised us to enjoy our life and to not waste our time by waiting for the right person who may never turn up. But am glad that we waited for each other and we didn't ruin the exclusivity of this special bond by giving pieces of ourselves to prior short-term flings or momentary pleasures. (Ofcorz, we have our own blasts from the past. But we knew where to draw the line).

You are truly a gem of a person. But that doesn't make you too much of a good boy or a bore. Lotta nice people I know are so boring... and lotta interesting people I know are.. well.. not so nice. They just have their own interests in mind, and just want to have fun. So I have often wondered if there would be someone who is nice AND interesting - someone who believes in the importance of family, but has ventured out of his comfort zone and travelled the world ... someone who is naughty, but nice.. ... someone who is fun, but sensible.. someone who is romantic, but realistic.. someone who is protective, yet enjoy being pampered... someone who is spontaneous, but also a planner.. someone who offers awesome company, but gives me space. someone who treats a woman like a lady, yet considers her a buddy... someone who is assertive, but tender... And my love, u are all this and more.....

I love it when ur matching wits with me ... the teasing and taunting ... the peppery romance... the great laughs... the friendship we share.... the long, serious conversation... the casual, mindless chatter... the back-to-back movies... the unending search when we can't find the exactt thing we want to eat... the joy when we discover it.. the endless cootchie cooing... the awesome cuddles... but what I like best is when u look at me dreamily with eyes full of innocence and love...That is when it hits me that "This sweetheart is MINE!!!".... MUUUAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY HONEY!!!

Have a fantastic life... better said.. Have a fantabulous life with me!!! :P ;) :)

Sad times are here to stay!!

PS (pre-script.. gee!) – I thought I should put this at the beginning of the post. The title of the post and the content may not be in-sync. I set out to write something very personal, but lost track and found myself in the middle of a wider conflict. But I hope I somehow get around to write what I really wanted to write. The following post can be a lil unorganized. Blame it on my current mood. What r blogs for after all? You can get people to read whatever crap u write n always back it up with an explanation that its ur personal space and nobody should judge. How clever r we bloggers??


What is so enchanting about ‘sadness’ that I keep inviting this unpleasant visitor into my life more often than others do? Why is it that I always have (erm.. find rather) a problem to sulk, rant or cry over? I’ve tried probing myself further on the matter, but failed with little result. I spend way too much time thinking, analyzing and dissecting everything that makes any significance and sense to me. Some one called my generation ‘The over-analytical generation’. He couldn’t have been more right. Like I said to a friend later - our generation feels a need to delve deep into everything, fretting over the regular things (read those things which have been done by generations without thinking twice), wanting to be different, trying to be rebellious, but in the end either messes it all up or just ends up doing exactly what our parents’ generation did. And to think that they did it all without fretting. And to make things worse, I realized, I can be taken as the best example. Well that said, I made a remark that we have just ourselves to bank on. And my friend readily agreed. I was a lil disappointed. I was secretly hoping that she thought otherwise. I wanted to believe that the world is indeed a rosy place, only I’m messed up in the head to carry such lousy thoughts. N, u shattered me! Do I need more reasons to be sad?



Back to wot I started out with … I always find a reason to cry. Maybe I really have reasons to cry or its just that my thinking process is totally screwed up. And I envy all those happy souls – I envy the sheer luck of the ones who have ‘more reasons’ to be happy and envy the contentment of those who I think have ‘fewer reasons’ to be happy. I read somewhere “Don’t tell others your problems. 70% don’t care and the rest 30% are glad”. Well… In that case, you cant make others any happier by narrating your happy stories either. Don’t get me wrong people. I do feel happy for others. But sometimes, I’m just not in the mood. Holy shit! I lost track again…


I constantly indulge in self –assessment, listing out my inadequacies, regretting the wrong things I have done, cursing myself for the right things I have never done, so on. I either cling on to my past or worry over my future, all the while neglecting the present. And when the current ‘present’ becomes the past, I cry over losing that to. I wish I could live life for the moment! Life would have been so much happier!!!



My current mood is that of regret. Regret for not valuing some people who had crossed paths with me at various phases in my life. When they were with me, I created a wall around cuz I though they dint meet my standards. I disregarded them, avoided them by feigning aloofness and sometimes even hurt them with my indifference. But I realized, each time a lil late, how much they really meant to me. I thought tearfully about all the loving gestures I received, all the timely help they extended, all the insightful talk we shared. And I realized that I truly miss their presence in my life. But today, things are different. I cannot reach out to them ever again, despite badly wanting to. I curse myself for not realizing the value of these people who actually valued n loved me. There are many others who met standards, whom I respected n loved and still continue to do so. But then with a heavy heart I realize that people are irreplaceable. People I have, cannot fill in for people I lost. Only ‘they’ can be ‘them’. I don’t need others in their place. This sense of loss will haunt me forever. But I repeat the same mistakes. Trip to sadness-ville is guaranteed.



P.S (This time it is post script) – Excuse me for all the grammatical n language errors. I can’t care less (remember bout blogger’s personal space and we being clever). Oh boy! This post can make me embarrassed on a more sensible day. I’m sure to delete it then. But I hope that all those people I hurt get to read this before that.

F.R.I.E.N.D.S again!!!

Today is Friendship Day. And what more can Star World offer than a back-to-back 15- episodes-show of their biggest and most loved sitcom F.R.I.E.N.D.S. I could not watch the whole of it for obvious reasons. But hey... its not exclusively for Friendship Day. Star World never tires of airing it and I never tire of watching it. It’s the lives of a bunch of people we have grown to love. And well… they are not the most perfect characters- just a gang of young losers . But it doesn’t really matter. They have become our ‘friends’ too. And we have seen them grow – as individuals, as friends. And the growth becomes more striking when you get to watch the last seasons and then go back to watch the early seasons again. There is an obvious change in the chemistry between the people – the walls are broken down, the patterns are made and the bonding gets stronger.


This really made me look back at my own friendships – how I met them, was unsure of them, then discovered them, bonded with them and like fate would have it, parted ways with them. And I have broken down at the thought of losing them forever. Call me insecure. But I often feared that they would never come back to me, esply if I dint receive a call from them with in the next ten days of parting. And I would hesitate to put in a call myself, again fearing that I would be unwanted in their new lives or they would have already forgotten me. They don’t say ‘Out of sight, Out of mind’ for nothing. But the phrase never held true for me. I long for them more when they are not around anymore. And luckily for me, they all came back. And your friendship becomes stronger than before, because when some one goes and comes back it means you mean something to them, and probably they never discovered a better friend than you.


Ok guys.. I don’t know where this post is heading to. It seems to be as aimless as my own life now. I guess I should end it with a ‘Happy Friendship Day’. Oh! I have more to write about friends and friendships, but mebbe another day, another post! Till then, tata all my friends and all who value friendship!!!


PS: I’m not a big believer of these various days – Friendship Day, Valentines Day, Mother;s Day, Father;s Day, Dog’s Day (erm.. if its already not there, m sure u would hear about it soon). But well… we just need reasons to celebrate. So be it.