You are loved anyways, woman!

If you are open, then u are easy to talk to

If you are not, then u are the mystery men love to unravel!

If you are bold, then you are appreciated and looked up to

If you are not, then u kick up protective instincts!

If you are funny, you make men laugh

If you are not, then you are the responsible home-maker material

If you are intelligent, then u make conversations interesting

If you are not , then you are the dumb girl men love to joke with!

If you remember to look into the little important things, then you are thoughtful

If you don't, you are just a lil child who is easily forgiven!

If you are giggly, then u are definitely how a girl ought to be

If you are not, then u have a purpose!

If you are loud, u make for boisterous company

If you are not, quieter moments are relished with u!

If you are aggressive, then you offer healthy competition

If you are not, then u are tender companion!

If you smile often, you bring sunshine

If you cry often, you will find fingers to wipe ur tears!

If u talk about ur insecurities, then you are affable

If u don't, then u are the strong woman!

If you know to take charge, u are to great to share burdens

If you cannot, you will be looked after!

If you are liberated, then you are exciting

If you are coy, then you are subtle and sweet!

If you are bratty, then u are the child upto some mischief

If you are giggly, u are the girl who lightens up

If you are tender, then u are the loving woman!

If you are naive, u are the child who needs guidance

If you are chatty, then u are the girl who has fun

If you are strong, then u are woman who can take care!

If you are insecure, u are the child who will be hugged

If you are freaky, then u are the girl who will be playfully teased

If you are loving, then u are the woman men want to live with!!!

However u are, there is beauty in u woman, u are special. Love being U!

Devil’s Advocate - I

Big Boys Don’t Cry

After I typed it down, I realised it is soooo much like another blog i read.. views here are my own. But ideas are indeed inspired  b y and are refelcted on another blog.

I’m almost always the devil’s advocate. And most of the time I find myself rooting for the underdog. So what if I cheer for the hot favourite occasionally, I never leave behind my underdog. But then, this is really not about underdogs in the true sense of the word. This is about MEN!!!. Men never get credit in feminist circles, do they??? So though this takes to strangle the feminist in me, I would still give some credit to men.

Women (mostly the unmarried, childless kind) often discuss how “painful” a woman’s life is. We have to bear that excruciating pain of giving birth to a child. We don’t even have a choice here, do we? Epidurals or not, child birth is complicated. I’m sure women who have been through it will nod in agreement and the women who have not been thru it (and don’t really fancy the idea) will nod in horror. So its like saying that if the living world has to continue, the female of the species has to go through this pain. Its such a mammoth responsibility on our tender shoulders. It is just assumed that women have some inherent quality to grind their teeth through pain!. Wait till you catch me getting a waxing done. I shriek when they pull the strip out and stop short of swearing at the saloon ladies. I can’t exactly swear cuz what if they decide to get even and pour some really hot wax on my bare legs?? :O. Or catch me when I’m chumming and in pain, when am cranky and curse myself for being a woman : O…. Oops.. Sorry! I was supposed to be taking men’s side. I lost track and started cribbing bout my sad life.

So here is what I wanted to say. True, we have to bear a lotta pain. But women can also scream. We can cry!!! We don’t have to put up a brave face. We can jump to the roof when we see a lizard. A man would make a total moron out of himself if he as much as let out a squeal.

If the pain is emotional, we can call up friends and shed buckets of tears and feel light. In return, we get a lotta comforting and care, sympathy and bonding. We have understanding girl pals who will lets us vent and listen to our ravings and rants, while we binge on mood-lifting chocolate cakes. We can go on a shopping spree or atleast do window shopping if we are broke. We can pamper ourselves with a head massage and pedicure (even these two are painful though) and feel really good. A man who cries in public becomes a wuss. So what do they do?? Cut themselves off from fellow men, turn aloof and divert their attention into something. Or worse (yeah worse), joke about it over beer.

Well… I say worse because I have seen a male friend go through a really rough patch. Now since he couldn’t deal with his own emotions, he would trivialize his miseries and joke about it. I knew him well enough to realize that it was all a farce and he was hurting inside. But most people thought he was being insensitive and hurt him more!!! There was a lot of pressure on him to abstain from breaking down in public. But , women don’t have to bottle it all up or indulge in self depreciating humour. We can shed tears till we feel better and gear up for the next pain. There is nothing as cathartic as a good cry! Sigh!

The song currently playing in my head : Buffalo Sodier - Bob Marley.

PS : The song has no relevance to the topic discussed here. Just happened to be the song I'm humming now.

Coffee, Conversation and others….

Its back to the grind again! After a long break, m back to the corporate world. And that explains my absence from blogsville! And how much ever earning for yourself feels good, I really miss that blissful state of joblessness! Sigh…I can no longer stay up late into the night doing.. well…almost nothing. I cant sleep late into the mornings. I have a schedule to stick to and life is mechanical once again. I hate not being in control of my life anymore. If there is anything that I badly want, it is to follow my whims and fancies at every turn and never be told what is to be done. So being on my own, not having to follow rules made me a lazy bum. Now I’m battling to snap outta it. Now my eyes have a mind of their own. And to keep them from falling shut, I ‘m consuming excessive coffee! It indeed is a stimulant. And then while I sip on my coffee, I think of 25 years of work life that’s stretching ahead me!!! Life has just begun and I have to work for another 25 years NON STOP! Sigh….. And I realized another thing. Since I write the whole day at work, I’m no more motivated to blog. I never knew this would happen to me. Now that explains the crappiness of this post. Yeah, yeah! I blame it all on work stress! (Chuckle)

A typical mid -20 female conversation 

This is an online conversation I had with my friend P some time back. Thot I should put it down here.

P – guess wot! I'm turning 27 in two days!!!

Me – age is just a number girl

P – Yeah, U say that cuz ur only 24! Lets wait till u turn 27!

Me- well… not really… 24 or 27, u have earned that many years of ur life. So u gotta be proud of it.

P – Proud?!?!? ! U miss out on the babe factor.

Me – Oh! No! Ur the ultimate babe! 20 or 30!

P – Well…J thinks so atleast

Me – J is crazy

P – That he is...

Me - Lol..

P - But then he says according to his company’s marketing surveys youth wud mean upto 25!

Me – tell his company to go to hell. So by his own company’s standards he is old eh?

P – Yeah, he admits he is old...Damn! I feel so old. Suddenly I feel jealous of u!

Me- Well.. in three years I will be there too

P – and in three years I will be 30. THIRTY!!!

Me- hmmm…

P- I already started checking out anti-ageing creams

Me – Oh C’mon!!! What u talking bout??

P- Yeah, they say it’s a downhill from 25. Your ageing process begins at 25!

Me- Did J say this too to freak u out?

P – No di... I read it somewhere.

Me – Yeah!!! Ur rite… tat rings a bell somewhere! Tatz terrible!!!

P – Yeah! Tatz exactly what I was telling u!

Me -hmmm..Whoever said age is a number probably died young. That jack ass doesn’t know what growing old feels like! Whew!!!

P – LOL!

Women.....As we know them

When life got busier, I moved away from friendships and acquaintances forged at an earlier phase of life. I could afford to lose them and go on to bigger things, and today I can afford to look back at them with fondness. The last year has been one of rebonding-with-old-pals types. And what did I find?? Boys, I must admit, have remained the same all through these years. Only they have become a little serious since the last time we met. Priorities have changed but of course. They have moved on from bikes, babes and booze to make more money. Pray why?? For better bikes, babes and booze. Boys will always be boys!!! Women, on the other hand , have changed. Each meeting with old female acquaintances shed some light on how they grew and I was tempted to put then into little boxes.



The Single, Independent Women – Slogged their assess off to make a career for themselves. Fiercely independent, one admires their confidence just as one despises their arrogance. In typical corporate jargon, they talk about their six-figure income, high-profile meetings, busy schedules, deals clinched and battles won. Hiding behind that aggressive façade and tired eyes is a vulnerable soul lamenting over broken friendships, lost sleep and loneliness.



The Happily Married Women – Married early to rich men, sacrificing education, career and independence, but thought nothing of it. They throw subtle references to trips made to exotic foreign locations and their brand new diamond collections. They are ladies with class, so stating things explicitly will be thoroughly out of the question. Though comfortably tucked in their cocooned life, they regret not making a mark of their own. And since they don’t work to contribute monetarily to the house, they have more time, but less liberty.



The Single, Dependent Women – Screwed up on their studies, because they were busy having fun. Couldn’t make a rewarding career for themselves cuz they were dating men. Full of hope and despair, they still are dependent on the men in their lives (read fathers, boyfriends). They have enviable tales to narrate bout the exciting adventure called life. Suddenly they realize life needs more stability and security, but find that the men they were dating fall short of being the right guy.. Their education is either inadequate or inappropriate to take them to great heights. They realize it’s too late to start all over again, but too early to stop dreaming.


Each of the meetings I had were planned to renew friendships and catch up on old pals. And look what I got. Love has been totally lost. From their hearts as well as mine. What could have been a pleasnt walk down the memory lane, ended up being some kinda 'who has gotten ahead" contest. Every sentence uttered had an undertone of “hey, I’m having a better life”. And though I wasn’t prepared for this, I fell into it headlong, each and every time. And at the end of it all, I realized that the picture I had in mind of these women as lil girls were far more comforting than met the eye. I'm sad I ruined that beautiful picture!!!

PS: There is poll put up at the right corner. pls vote. Thanks in advance!

And tho 1 and 3 remain the same, the 2nd option is actually interesting, moderately well off n ugly!!! (unattractive was just a polite way of putting it. And this is with refernce to in case 2 ONLY) I realized I had placed it above the rest!

Feminists –Anti –women really!

A line in one of my favourite woman’s magazine saddened me. Woman’s mags, as u know, are mostly run by women editors, caters to the modern woman and contains explicit feminist content. I loved them, though not always agreed with them.

This particular write up that caught my attention was on women giving birth out of wedlock. Now conceiving illegitimate children are looked down with disgrace in most parts of the world. So I would have been glad had the magazine voiced against singling out the female parent and crucifying her when the male parent goes scot-free. But the magazine’s concerns are that though the child can claim maintenance from the father, the mother has no such provision. Excuse me, why would the mother claim such a provision? ( I know there are similar provisions pertaining to marriage laws, but when you are not bound by marriage, you can claim none).

You can only say one of the two – either that women are on par with men and should be meted out with equal treatment OR that women are indeed the weaker sex and hence need special treatment. You really can’t have the best of both worlds. Though the father is also responsible for the upbringing of the child, why would he provide for the mother who is an adult herself and ‘equal’ to the father? Doesn’t such a demand clearly state that women are weaker? Now do I sound anti-women ? Well.. I can be a feminist of the fiercest kind. I think all women should be. But double standards of pseudo –feminists don’t work with me

Pseudo -feminists are best seen during beauty pageants, when they are at the forefront shouting slogans, protesting against the exploitation of women. Hello feminists! Who is exploiting women here? Have you ever heard of beauty queens who had to bare it all at gun point? When a bunch of women strip to their inner garments to parade on stage for instant recognition, fame, money and glamour, it really isn’t exploitation, it’s celebration time for them! . Probably a celebration you cant be part of. But you won’t let it go so easily, would you? You attach yourself to it in every possible way so that u get a small share of the fame and media space. Now, why do you protest only against the the Ms World’s and Miss India’s and not Mr. World’s and Mr India’s? Ah! Sorry. I forgot that you don’t care about men’s rights or the exploitation of men. But what u do at the end of the day is let men do what they want to do, and protest when women do the same thing, just because they are women. Isn’t this the biggest discrimination against women?

Sometimes I wonder whether I have a distorted feministic view. I see buses with seats reserved exclusively for women (at least in that part of the country where I live). And though I’m glad that I have to fight it out with fewer people for the reserved seats, something inside me detests it.. (But I don’t listen to my inner voice always; I can do it at more convenient occasions. Gee!). Come on! Its not that women don’t have the strength to endure a half an hour’s journey. Why are efforts always being made to convey that we are weaker and hence should be pitied upon ?

Similarly, whenever Iam at the receiving end of a sometimes-genuine-but mostly- pretentious chivalrous act , I am more embarrassed than impressed. (well.. I’m generally touched, yet resist it) I can open doors, carry bags , pull chairs, travel alone and spend money too! Don’t give me special attention. Because I’m neither special nor weak. I just believe I’m equal, though in a rather different way. So doesn’t this make me a feminist - as I said before - of the fiercest and maybe the wierdest kind?. But we cant really have it that easy, fellow beings. Don’t we always say we are tough too? So prove it!